Last update: October 08, 2016
We human beings learn that we cannot do anything in certain situations and therefore we do not act in order to change them. This helplessness towards what happens to us can have various starting points or factors that contribute to maintaining it, such as fear, lack of commitment or low self-esteem..
The concept of helplessness learned in psychology is associated in particular with one name, that of Martin Seligman. This famous psychologist and researcher conducted various experiments with animals, observing how they behaved when receiving negative stimuli.
Some animals had the ability to avoid them by operating another lever; others, on the other hand, could not control them, they were independent. The animals that had learned that there was no lever attached to the stimuli stopped acting.
Helplessness leads to despair
According to Seligman's experiment, we could say that the changes in the behavioral habits of animals are linked to the absence of perception of contingency between the action and the result. For these animals, the damage had become uncontrollable and, therefore, they had resigned themselves to suffering it.
The same study was conducted with humans to determine the possibility of similar behavior. Loss of control over the environment or the expectation of out of control appear when the person has tried different ways to get out of a situation and has failed. The person in question suffers and there comes a moment for her when her strength fails and she says to herself: “if it has to be, it will be”.
However, the topic does not end there. The sense of abandonment usually generalizes to other situations, in fact the perception of control is greatly influenced. The thought is clear: if they can't change anything, why do I have to do something?
If we come to the conclusion that the problem is within us, self-esteem automatically decreases. But if it's due to an external factor, we stop being in control and get depressed. Depression is an emotional factor that only develops when the lack of control relates to something we really desire.
A theory complementary to that initially formulated by Seligman indicates that the depressive state is due to the lack of hope of improving or changing a specific situation. If we have a negative expectation about an important fact and cannot do anything about it, we lose hope. It is very difficult to change this feeling. And it also hurts a lot.
The learned helplessness in everyday life
Beyond the theories or concepts of psychology, it is good to know what possibilities there are to suffer from this problem and then find a solution. Learned helplessness is a mental and emotional process that leads us to act in a certain way, based on past stimuli or experiences.
It is often very present in people raised in an authoritarian regime, with habitual punishments and few rewards. When we are continually reprimanded about whatever we do, we stop responding and do so even when there are rewards that do not depend on what we do. The importance, therefore, of the prizes and of the moment in which they must be given when we are educating our children.
"Why improve my grades if my father will scold me anyway?" Could be a clear example of this problem that begins in childhood and continues into adulthood.
What happens when circumstances change and we find ourselves faced with someone who does not hit us, punish us or scold us? If the importance we have learned is too rooted in our minds, it will be very difficult to act differently from what we have learned. Every action always corresponds to a reaction. The good news is that changing your habits takes time, but it's not an impossible feat.
Impotence on the skin
Having a boss who makes life impossible at work, being abused every day at school, having an overly bossy mother-in-law or parent are some of the most common situations in which a person can strengthen or develop their learned helplessness. Not defending yourself from injustice, beatings or words goes beyond being weak or shy, it means you can't or don't know how to deal with these situations..
If from an early age we have been treated badly at home or at school or if we have suffered acts of physical violence, it is likely not knowing how to defend ourselves, being depressed and hopeless. But this does not only happen at home, in the academic environment or during childhood, it is also present in the workplace and personal, such as in the couple relationship.
It is very common for an impotent person to say "this is what happened to me and no matter what I do, nothing will change". In this way, he stops fighting for his rights, integrity and pride. Believing that you have no chance to improve situations and that you are vulnerable without remedy leads people to become passive and conformist.
If you feel that you have some propensity to experience this learned helplessness, it is best to consult a specialist. Little by little, by working on important aspects such as self-esteem or resilience, you will re-educate your thinking to resist and find solutions to situations in which they seem not to exist or when a lot of patience is needed.
