Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: December 14, 2021
You don't have to leave to not be there. There are many ways not to show up in someone's life. Not being part of the life of those who love us is a choice.
We should stop making excuses to stay and learn to say goodbye, but a goodbye with a capital "a", the real ones, which close all the doors from which you could otherwise re-enter. Everything under lock and key.
When we are able to detach ourselves from something that has frustrated us for a long time, we can clear our minds and get rid of those absences we didn't understand why and that kept our life hanging by a thread.
Growing up is learning to say goodbye
Being able to say goodbye to those who have never been there means not retreating, separating what enriches us from what makes us sick, taking care of ourselves and stop begging and begging for crumbs of affection and attention that exist only in our own. mind.
When there is no reciprocity or the scales lean more towards pain, then the relationship loses all its meaning. Consequently, the only result we achieve is to agonize in anticipation of an effective seal that marks the end we have been waiting for.
When we decide to leave, we realize that we have freed ourselves, that we have grown up and that we have opened the possibility to a new life. This new atmosphere will allow us to sow new emotions in a land that was not fertile until then.
It is always important to know when a stage in life ends. If you insist on locking yourself in it more than necessary, you lose the joy and sense of the rest. Close circles, doors, chapters or whatever we want to call them; the important thing is to be able to close them and let go of moments of life that are ending.
We cannot live in the present with nostalgia for the past. Nor by constantly asking ourselves why. What happened, happened, you have to break away from it, you have to get rid of it. We cannot remain children forever, nor late adolescents, nor employees of non-existent companies, nor maintain ties with those who do not want to be tied to us.
The facts pass and you have to let them go.
Paulo Coelho
To think that someone will always be there is a big mistake
There are times when people disappear from our life thinking they can return when they want because they are sure that we will always be there waiting. But that's not how it works. We all deserve respect and absence comes with a high price.
Blind love is not a sufficient guarantee for a relationship to work. Stories that remain pending should just be closed. Our emotional well-being depends on this.
It is difficult to face a decisive farewell with the certainty of having to fight to heal the wound of abandonment. We must have faith in itour self-esteem, self-confidence and our well-being.
Growing up, however, implies a certain disorientation that can destabilize us. We must be aware that part of the path we walk accompanied hand in hand by uncertainty.
It is certainly not a small thing, but we must remember that in return we will have the opportunity to rebuild ourselves and the balance with our inner self.. It is about being honest and demanding in choosing emotional companions. It's not always easy, but necessary things aren't always easy.
