Last update: 19 November 2017
Anxiety disorders are among the most frequent and prevalent psychological problems in the population. More precisely, we find them in second place after disorders due to the use of substances such as tobacco and alcohol. This makes us understand that we must not underestimate its importance and that it is necessary to adopt the best strategies and resources to overcome anxiety when it arises.
Given its incidence and influence on the population, in this article we will try to understand how anxiety relates to its two main risk factors: neglecting one's personal needs or putting them at the bottom of one's priority scale.
Anxiety is a destination with multiple avenues of entry
Ours is an era in which anxiety is excessively pathologized, we forget that more than a disorder it is an alarm system, one of the methods that the body and mind use to warn us of a problem.
Excessive in its pathologization, Many treatments have been devised to overcome anxiety, most of which have a serious lack: they treat only the symptoms, ignoring their origin and the factors that maintain it. These symptomatic treatments are not effective, because they do not target the causes of the problem, focusing only on its manifestations.
This emotional state does not depend on a single cause. Among the most frequent causes we find stress over time or the perception of an important difference between our "ideal self" and our "real self". In other words, if we perceive that there is an unbridgeable distance between the type of life we ​​lead and the type of life we ​​want, anxiety will likely appear.
One of the most common causes of anxiety is not listening to one's personal needs. If we live life on autopilot for too long and don't create the present we want, an alarm signal will be triggered in our psychological system: anxiety.
When a person ignores his needs - more time for himself, more free time, less contact with some people, less workload, less household / family duties - he exposes himself day after day to an environment that in a certain way is hostile to him. , uncomfortable or unsatisfactory. These negative feelings, when they persist over time, cause anxiety.
"Being satisfied means realizing that we have what we are looking for in us"
-Alan Cohen-
It is not a problem to have to make sacrifices or fulfill obligations, but if it becomes the leitmotif of our life, then we have a problem. When we indefinitely take this course of action, we do not meet our needs as individuals, and our mind has its own way of indicating that this is not good. Our mind can tell us that it is not the right path, that the life we ​​lead is not satisfying and that changes need to be made. For this purpose, there is anxiety.
Anxiety is activated when the "inner compass" does not find the north
When a person begins to have symptoms of anxiety - rapid heartbeat, nausea, sweating, a feeling of disconnection from reality, etc. - therapies do attack them. This is a fair approach, but insufficient in the long run. If this emotional state is maintained over time, it is because something feeds it. This something can be what generated it or something else. In any case, until we understand what it is, it will continue to cause damage.
Anxiety is an alarm system that tells us that we need to change something. These changes depend on the person in question, in some cases they may have to do with work, in others with life as a couple, with family relationships, with children, etc. In this sense, each one represents a unique and special case. But they all have in common the sacrifice of their own needs or values.
How to overcome anxiety
To overcome anxiety, one must work on oneself in order to improve one's emotional knowledge, cultivate one's values ​​and listen to one's needs. In the short term, it is correct for anxiety treatment to focus on symptoms, but it is not enough, as a lack of personal satisfaction is at the root of most anxiety disorders. Effective therapy must focus on creating a new and better life plan, otherwise the anxiety will be momentarily blocked, but the underlying problem will continue to exist.
The first step is to follow the therapy, which seems simple or obvious, but it is the most common mistake people make: trying to solve a problem alone and without anyone that, instead, requires professional and specialized attention. Effective treatment begins with attacking the symptoms of anxiety, so that the person is then able to set goals and make changes in their life that allow them to satisfy their deepest desires.
"If you want to be happy, define a goal that guides your thoughts, free your energy and inspire your hopes"
-Andrew Carnagie-
Once we have the most disabling symptoms of anxiety under control, to be able to completely overcome it, we need to work on personal development. An important part of this job will be learning to dedicate time and space to personal needs. It is a difficult path, perhaps because it requires people to answer questions they have never asked themselves, such as: what do I want? What do i need? What do I like?
Asking yourself these questions and counting on the help of a psychologist paves the way for overcoming anxiety. If you suffer from this type of disorder, you need to stop, ask for help and start listening to your deepest desires and needs. This is the most effective way to start a new, free, anxiety-free life.
