Last update: 02 September, 2016
Mother, I can't lose you. I do not want to. I refuse. I need you to take care of you, I need you not to give up on you, that you don't stop fighting, that you don't lose your smile, that you talk to me sweetly every day, that you keep your radiance, that you protect your essence.
For this reason, I ask you not to give up, mother. Even if you will have to face thousands of battles. You have my sword at your disposal, a sword forged in the purest, deepest and most imperishable love that I will be able to give you for a lifetime.
Together we will move forward and overcome any obstacle that wants to come between us and our life. For this, mom, I ask you not to leave me, to be strong. I promise that I will be by your side to take care of you until the end of our journey in this life.
Aware that by law of life it is possible that I have to live without your presence; however, I can assure you that you will always (ALWAYS) remain in me, because my being could not and could not exist if not thanks to you. For this reason, this great fear of mine ...
“The worst flaw of mothers is that they die before any part of what they have done can be returned to them.
They leave us maimed, guilty and terribly orphans. Fortunately there is only one. Because no one would bear the pain of losing her twice. "
-Isabel Allende-
Living with a mother's pain: a tough process for children
Because in reality I am fully convinced that our inner child is not afraid of monsters or darkness, much less the unknown or chaos. He is afraid of losing our attachment figures, our people of reference. We fear that our memory no longer remembers its smell, that our eyes can no longer see its hair and that our heart can no longer feel its warmth.
For this reason, it is essential to take advantage of every second next to them and help them heal as women and develop fully as people. Throughout her life, a woman takes on a large number of roles: mother, daughter, girlfriend, partner, wife, etc. There comes a time when we find ourselves with an infinity of knotted properties with which we have to reassemble pieces of life.
If we combine the social imposition of the suffering role with the woman who, moreover, is a mother with her own vital difficulties that arise, we get an extreme explosive cocktail that can make the figure who gave us life suffer intensely.
This pain to which we see our mothers subjected is tremendously painful for us, as children who see their mothers in the guise of fighters whose strength is less and less. However, and since it is a tough process, it is inevitable that children sometimes reverse roles and become "mothers / fathers of their mothers". By assuming this role, you try to protect them and not make them suffer.
We turn into "new parents" who are afraid that their baby will fall off the swing. Being children, we are afraid of turning into protectors. We function as the machinery that brings back the vital inertia of an injured person. We are therefore aware of the immense power that exists in the female world and, specifically, in the maternal one.
Anyone who has experienced a similar situation knows that mediating with this is not easy, but that it certainly allows us to advance in the ladder of personal growth. The emotional obligation to protect our mother when we see her vulnerable endows us with an awareness that in itself is very powerful. At the same time, she consumes, hurts and disrupts our inner balance, at least for the moment.
One is never ready for the loss of one's mother and, for this reason, one discovers in oneself such a strength that allows one to take a step further and become that angel who heals the wounds of a wounded mother. A wonderful event occurs in our inner world, the warm gaze of our inner child learns to live with the awareness of an adult, which, without a doubt, is a further step towards maturity.
