Last update: April 05, 2020
Love is and will remain a mystery that we will never fully decipher. However, it is possible to understand some aspects. Buddhists, for example, tell us about the essential elements to love and enjoy this feeling.
According to Buddhists, to love it is enough to apply common sense. Their approach emphasizes the ability to love and not the ability to awaken love in others.
Reality teaches us that everything that is sown is also what is then reaped. Because of this, if we develop our capacity to love, we too will be loved. What we receive must stop being important and what we can give must begin to take on relevance. Discover love according to Buddhism and keep it in mind.
"Don't hurt others with what causes pain to you."
-Buddha-
Love according to Buddhism
1. Understanding
The word "understanding", in love, goes beyond a simple intellectual fact. It also encompasses rational aspects, but extends far beyond. It means understanding with the head, but mainly with the heart. Develop sufficient sensitivity to perceive the other person's physical and emotional needs. And also to respect them and try to satisfy them.
Love is understanding because it means knowing how to see the other according to their terms and not ours. Perceiving and intuiting his vulnerabilities and shortcomings. See him as someone who is not perfect and who is not to be judged for it.
2. To evolve the heart
To love, we must first of all fulfill the commitments we have with ourselves. The first is to learn to be happy and feel good, without having a partner next to you.
We cannot give the other the responsibility to make us happy, to fill our gaps or to satisfy our needs. Those who are unable to find happiness for themselves will not find it through another person. Perhaps he creates this illusion, but sooner or later he will discover that nothing can fill the void of absence that is created by not being.
3. Be noble
Nobility and goodness create an overwhelming force. Sometimes it is thought that those with a weak heart or a fragile character are good. Instead it is not true. Being good to others is a decision that comes from conviction and strength. It is also indispensable in order to be able to love others.
Nobility is characterized by the search for the good of others, as well as the search for one's own. From not hurting deliberately or unnecessarily. Be empathetic with the suffering of others and be willing to provide support whenever possible. A good person attracts the goodness of others.
4. Do not have transient loves
The expression "transient loves" is in itself contradictory. Love is never passing. Always leave traces. What exists sometimes is the desire to have fleeting adventures and stories that bring about sexual pleasure or fuel the narcissism, without commitments or suffering.
When someone wants to lead their life this way, they actually want to escape from life. It is like wanting to swim while looking at the water from the shore. He will be able to touch the water without getting completely wet, but he will open more and more the emptiness inside him. At a certain point this attitude not only does not satisfy, but leads to feel a sort of hatred towards oneself and others.
5. Recognize the four elements of love
Love according to the Buddhism it consists of four essential components. It is about kindness, compassion, fun and serenity. Incorporating these aspects into a relationship is one of the keys to love that never fails. Each of them is indispensable.
La kindness promotes respectful and caring relationships. Compassion creates mutual loyalty and a deep sense of commitment. Suffering is shared and an indestructible bond is created with it. By fun we mean, above all, the variety and breadth of shared experiences. Serenity is the basis of tolerance and correct communication.
As you can see, the love presented to us by Buddhists is accessible to everyone. However, it requires interest and willingness to cultivate it. It does not arise spontaneously, but must be cultivated with patience. But its fruits are very sweet and therefore deserve such an effort.
