Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 24 March, 2022
What is love at first sight? Two glances that collide, eyes that meet and merge into two souls that belong to each other from the first moment, in which time seems to stop. It is the mystery of an encounter in which chemistry generates a fatal attraction often followed by a real connection that takes us three meters above the sky, where the heart can finally start dreaming again.
The idea is tempting, but the reality is often quite different. When we think of love at first sight, we are reminded of those movie scenes (often also proposed by literature) that we like so much.
Books like Love at first sight: the stories and sciences behind instant attraction by Dr. Earl Naumann of the University of Arizona remind us that at least 50% of people believe in this phenomenon according to which one glance is enough to trigger the spark. to give birth to a love so overwhelming that it takes your breath away.
"There is no love except at first sight."
-Benjamin Disraeli
This neurochemical "spark", which is a mixture of uncertainty, desire, mystery and illusion seems to have scientific evidence. Now, although emotions cannot be analyzed under the microscope, it can be said that most of the studies carried out so far have all led to the same conclusion. Love at first sight does exist, but it is often characterized by some factors that are good to keep in mind.
We call it love, but it's just attraction
There are hasty loves, out of time, those loves that blossom in the moment and in the place that we would least expect. Love at first sight has always existed and will continue to exist. Then there are those loves "on a slow fire", which "cook" slowly and at medium temperatures, starting from a sincere friendship and then suddenly transforming into authentic passions.
Love has no rules, there is no magic formula to make it be born, and we know this well. However, to keep alive this love that arose as if by magic, we can follow the rules, come to terms by establishing an "affective democracy" dictated by common sense. In the light of these considerations, it is clear that when we talk about love at first sight, it is attraction, not reason, that triggers the spark.
We let ourselves be carried away by desire, enthusiasm, magnetism and the halo effect favored by serotonin and dopamine. Love at first sight is just the beginning, the forerunner that sets the stage for a relationship, leading us to give the other person a chance. It is a love that comes without warning, but which later will need meticulous care so that the mystery takes over the transparency, chasing away the illusions and making room for reality.
Love at first sight: what science thinks
The University of Groningen (Netherlands) conducted a study on this in 2017. In the study “What kind of love is love at first sight? An empirical investigation "600 people were analyzed who claimed to have experienced what we commonly call" love at first sight ". This study found that 92% of people have entered into a relationship after this fateful meeting, this meeting of glances that has led most of them to think they have found a soul mate. The researchers then interviewed each couple to analyze some psychological traits in detail.
Love at first sight is based on physical appearance (but not only)
In love at first sight, physical attraction certainly has a significant weight. However, it is not necessarily the physical appearance of a person that immediately catches our attention. Scientists tell us that there is more behind this attraction, something that is transmitted through glances that communicate trust, sympathy, glances that cross without fear.
The halo effect
As mentioned earlier, when two people feel attraction following a glance meeting, it is very likely that it will at least arrive at a first date. However, many times it happens that due to this strong attraction, we begin to create for ourselves a series of expectations that almost never correspond to reality.
This attraction causes us to project a series of very specific positive qualities onto the other person. We tend to see her as smarter, kinder, original, reliable, and even more "taken" by us. In other words, we create a halo effect which, added to the passion, will make this feeling last over time. Until, sooner or later, we do not begin to notice more or less tolerable defects in the partner.
Love at first sight prefers eternal romantics
In the aforementioned study by the University of Groningen it was also seen that a large part of the sample analyzed had established a lasting and successful relationship. That is to say that many times, love born of love at first sight lasts over time, matures and lays the foundations for a happy relationship.
However, in most cases the relationship ends when the passion fades, when the illusion collides with reality and one is unable to create a bond based on intimacy through compromises, on trust, affection and reciprocity.
Thanks to this research it was also possible to note that most of the couples who had entered into a relationship starting from love at first sight were formed by firm supporters of romanticism. For them, phenomena such as predestination and a soul mate are an absolute truth, as well as the backbone of their relationships.
In conclusion, science does not deny that in some cases love at first sight exists and that it can prove to be a success. However, often this game of glances that meet, scrutinize and talk to each other is the result of mere attraction.
But attraction is still the "engine" that pushes us to take the first step, the first step in the climb towards a bond destined to grow by facing the daily difficulties to start a successful relationship.
