Last update: February 03, 2015
Love is a beautiful thing. We all have a favorite movie in which the two protagonists swear eternal love to each other and struggle against countless obstacles in order to cultivate the love of their life and be happy forever. However, in reality, love is not like that in everyday life.
The big mistake
Relationships are great, but if you start to envy others' relationships or if you find that you have set limits to yourself that were not there before (how to dress, who to see, etc.), you have probably fallen into a relationship. toxic. Toxic relationships are more frequent than we think because in TV series, movies and even magazines they tell us that when you really love someone "you put up with everything, accept everything, everything is fine" because otherwise it is not true love , but this is a SERIOUS ERROR.
Thinking that without that person "your life is meaningless" is dangerous. A relationship in such a perspective can undermine your self-esteem and allow the other person to impose limits on your life. Making heavy jokes that make the other feel bad, being emotionally cold or manipulating the other by saying phrases like "it's the best thing for you" fall into this category.
If you are identifying with this profile, do not panic: the important thing is that now that you know it you can back down.
How to get out of a toxic relationship?
- The first thing is to realize it. It is important that you are aware that in reality your partner is not leaving you free and instead of helping you to improve he is "orienting" you as if you were incapable.
- Second, value yourself. Recognize that you are a person full of virtues and valuable traits simply by being yourself. You have dreams and the person next to you must support you in reaching them and be your partner, not another obstacle to overcome.
- Third point is be independent. You don't need anyone. You have everything you need in you, everything you need and can want from life it is in yourself. Your dreams, your life and your desires depend on you. Repeat it as many times as necessary, perhaps in front of the mirror.
What if it can't be fixed?
If there is no way to make your partner understand that you are a person with an identity of his own and that he does not have to limit you and force you to think differently, if he can't stop making you feel bad with his underestimations, then run away! The most important thing is that in these cases you completely distance yourself and that you cut off all relationships in order to have enough time to heal the wounds that this story has left you. You may be confronted with the withdrawal syndrome, but focus and see if your anxiety and insecurity have diminished as there is no longer anyone to underestimate you.
Think about it and gradually detach yourself, always remembering everything that made you feel bad in your relationship. If this turns out to be more than the good times, you have just made the right decision.
