Last update: Augusts 02, 2015
“Love yourself
it is the beginning of an idyll
that lasts a lifetime. "
(Oscar Wilde)
Loving yourself is part of a fundamental process in our life, which will allow us to love others more sincerely.
This process lasts a lifetime, given that there will be many circumstances that will put him to the test: disappointments, frustrations, mistakes, goals not achieved, breakdowns, loss of hope. An infinity of daily problems that we have to face and that often influence the perception of our value as people.
Where do we place our value?
Our value as people does not depend on what we get or have, but rather on the attitude with which we take all the steps we take in life, to come to love ourselves unconditionally.
Giving what you do not have is very complex, and if a person does not love himself, he will hardly be able to love others. He may believe he is giving love, but in reality he is just falling into the clutches of manipulation, emotional blackmail and exploitation all the time.
If we do not learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we will seek this love outside of ourselves, in other people, making our worth depend on how others treat or value us. So, we will be continually conditioned by the external judgment.
This addiction is harmful, as is having to beg for love and affection. We may come to assume complacent attitudes, to get the looks, care and attention of others.
To know if you love each other unconditionally, it is important that you ask yourself this question:
Does my worth as a person depend on external elements?
Learn to take care of yourself
In our culture it is very common to give value to the outside, to what happens around us, to get a certain idea about ourselves.
Even loving yourself is very often considered an act of selfishness. This is a totally wrong belief, since love for others always starts from self-love, which in turn is made up of universal love for humanity.
How we take care of ourselves has a lot to do with how we perceive ourselves, and what our state of mind is. Not doing so means not listening to one's needs and committing an act of violence towards ourselves.
“Taking care of ourselves means taking care of ourselves. Listen to our needs. Recognize that we exist and that we occupy a place in the world, that we have the right to be well, to achieve well-being in all areas of our life "(Fina Sanz).
Accepting oneself: an act of compassion
Accepting who we are also implies accepting our faults; discover our abilities and our limits, merits, virtues, all our resources. Becoming aware of the person we are, from a global and profound perspective.
A better knowledge of oneself
leads to greater understanding.
When we take care of ourselves and understand each other, we are able to neither judge nor blame ourselves for the mistakes we may have made. In this way, we walk towards theacceptance of ourselves.
Through acceptance, we approach unconditional love, as an act of compassion and understanding towards who we are. Without our needs limiting our ability to love ourselves and, consequently, to love others.
In this way, we will be able to form honest relationships, which are not based on the search for recognition. Loving us, we will be able to truly indulge in the act of loving others, always in a compassionate way and through acceptance.
“Any growth needs love, but unconditional love. If love imposes conditions, growth cannot be total, because these conditions will form a barrier.
Love unconditionally, don't ask for anything in return. You will receive a lot without having to ask for it; don't beg for love. In love, be emperors. Give and observe what happens: you will receive a thousand times more. But you have to learn the trick. If you don't, you will continue to be stingy; you will give a little and then you will expect something in return, but that waiting and that expectation will destroy all the beauty of your actions ”. (Osho)
Bibliography:
– Sanz, F. (1995). Loving ties: loving from identity in reunion therapy. Kairos.
