Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
The loves that are born in mature age are filtered by the experiences lived and by the serenity of the heart. We are talking about autumn souls who meet in the twilight of a vital phase in which love is no longer perceived as a conquest or an invasion, but as a bond based on joy, tenderness and complicity. They are often much more honest relationships, which open the doors to a wonderful phase.
We often hear that true love will come when we are mature enough. This, however, is not entirely true. Often we tend to fall into the error of wanting to compare all the experiences we live by force. But the reality is much simpler: living means knowing how to appreciate what comes at every stage of life. To be grateful for the experiences in our youth, for the right choices and for the mistakes, and to enjoy every gift that adulthood and maturity offer us.
"Mature love is a union on the condition of preserving: preserving one's own integrity, and also the individuality of the other."
-Erich Fromm-
Each phase of life allows us to welcome what happens to us in a special and different way. As young people, we tend not to have filters: we open our arms full of desire and infinite energy in the face of everything we cross in our path. We are like an intense summer downpour.
Over the years, we become more selective, more cautious. Inside of us we still perceive the scent of those lively summers, but now we prefer warmer breezes, those that smell of calm, bright afternoons and quiet beaches.
Mature loves do not at all renounce joviality or innocence, but they certainly no longer wish to fall into the mistakes already made. They know well that couples are not formed by two halves of the same apple, rather from "apples and oranges": from people who have had different experiences, sometimes even very distant ones. Souls with their own individuality who wish, why not, to give love another chance. Today we want to talk to you about these loves.
Loves in mature age: when aging is synonymous with happiness
Alberto and Mariangela have more than 60 springs behind them and today they have decided to take the big step: move in together. There is no lack of criticism from their children. "It sure is just for economic interest," says one. “They just want to feel less alone,” others say. "It's just a whim," someone else dares to say in a low voice, sure that after a few months they will return to their respective homes, to devote themselves to their grandchildren, to their activities ...
However, these criticisms and opinions do not seem to upset either Alberto or Mariangela. They no longer pay attention to these things, wrinkles and scars, even if they affect the skin a little, they strengthen their heart and their will. The decision they made was very reasoned. They are not children, maturity does not increase their naivety, on the contrary, it makes them wiser. Furthermore, their emotional and experiential baggage is rich enough to allow them to act with full knowledge of the facts.
This autumnal love, contrary to what those external eyes think that observe, but do not see, does not know selfishness and does not need to prove anything to anyone. Because it has nothing artificial. Their thoughts, their intentions and their caresses are sincere. The light of truth that illuminates them is a feeling so complete that it fills their head, their hands and their heart.
On the other hand, there is an aspect to take into consideration and that this couple will certainly know well. Most young people believe that maturity or the last stage of life is synonymous with passivity and resignation. According to this stereotype, love or passion should have an expiration date. As if it were a forbidden terrain for those with white hair, for those who have more life behind them than in front of them.
"Young love thrives on enthusiasm, mature love on harmony."
This perception is wrong. If there is one thing that positive psychology has taught us, in fact, it is that thereThe happiness curve reaches its highest peak at this stage. It is a time when love is experienced in a much clearer, purer way.
The new timeline and the importance of love
Love in mature age gives people a more than satisfying rest. It is not a fire that burns the skin, but a river that accompanies along a path of discoveries to be traveled in pairs, to continue to grow, experience and nurture a new kind of happiness. Beyond what many skeptics believe, it is at this stage where, in general, the greatest psychological well-being is experienced.
Economists Blanchflower and Oswald made an interesting study that led them to conclude that, in reality, the perception of well-being and personal satisfaction are experienced most intensely during childhood and mature age. The happiness represented during the life cycle would therefore have a "U" shape: it reaches a first peak during childhood and a second after fifty.
It is clear, however, that advancing age is not necessarily synonymous with greater psychological maturity. Even emotional balance does not follow fixed rules; however, much of the population faces this vital phase with exceptional integrity and a splendid attitude.
They are people who do not just accumulate years, but also feed their desires and dreams. Men and women who have conquered themselves, who have charisma and that alchemy that combines wisdom with hope, serenity with passion and desire with humility.
Mature loves may not be as effusive as early teenage love, but they can certainly be much more fruitful and satisfying.
