I often receive emails like this: "Antonio, my husband left me after 20 years of marriage because he says he doesn't love me anymore ... I feel terrible and my life no longer makes sense ... what should I do?".
If your husband just broke up with you, you most likely face one of the moments most difficult and dramatic ever. The pain of the loss, coupled with the realization that the backbone of your life has just collapsed, makes you feel helpless and undecided about what to do to move forward.
My husband left me, how to win him back?
I know it's not easy, but the first step is to take a deep breath and try to calm down. Your situation is bad, but not irrecoverable. You still have a chance to win back your husband if you apply the right strategies and avoid making other mistakes.
Regardless of the reasons why your relationship has ended, there are certain behaviors that will make your husband move away from you even more, while there are others that will greatly favor the rapprochement and rebuilding a positive relationship between the two of you. Let's see them together.
Attitudes to avoid
If you start showing your weaknesses openly, by explicitly or implicitly communicating to your ex that without him your life no longer makes sense, you will only give him additional reasons to never go back. I know that despair comes automatically, but you will never be able to win him back by showing yourself fragile and defenseless, in short, making him pity.
Remember that you leave a person it is a selfish act, which is done despite the suffering of the other person. Your ex knows you are in pain, but at this stage he doesn't care, as he is only thinking about himself and his happiness. For some reason he has come to think that his life will be better without you, and if you want to convince him otherwise you have to act differently.
Showing him your love, begging him, promising him you will change, giving him gifts, or trying to get him to stay through logical reasoning or threats will not help you improve the situation.
What to do then?
First you will have to let it go, focusing on a path that leads you to take back your life and fully understand the reasons for the breakup.
Right now you are fragile and not very lucid: you have mood swings, you act on instinct by carrying out actions that you regret immediately afterwards. You are absolutely in no position to effectively confront your husband.
You need time to recover lost clarity, and most of all you need it an action plan to better manage this delicate situation. Think about it… your marriage and mental health are probably the most important things in your life ever. What is the price of each mistake made? What would you do if I told you that you just need a little patience and trust?
My husband left me for someone else
If your husband left you for another woman, or for a mistress, you must first ask yourself if it's worth getting him back. The best solution in many cases may be to forget this and move on with your life, however difficult this may seem to you.
If you are determined not to give up, I recommend reading this article, in which you find 12 important tips to follow to win back a man who left you for another.
My husband left me suddenly after 20 years
Finally, to answer one of the last emails I received, let's see the case where the husband leaves after 20 years of marriage, suddenly.
“The story between my man and me has always been fantastic. Despite the differences between us, we have always loved and had a lot of fun together. We have two wonderful children and until last year everything seemed to be going well. A few days ago my husband suddenly left me, telling me he doesn't love me anymore, and I don't really know what to do. Do you have any advice for me? Laura ".
Many women, such as Laura, argue that their partner's choice to leave them represents inexplicable and sudden behavior. In most cases, however things hadn't been going well for some time: the passion and the feeling had gradually faded, several mistakes made by both had caused misunderstanding and distance, and the only thing that still kept the relationship firm were common obligations and habit.
In relationships it often happens to underestimate some problems, and to realize the gravity of the situation when it is already too late to solve them without consequences.
Give your husband time and space, by reducing or blocking the interactions between the two of you altogether in the next month. In this way you will be able to achieve multiple results:
- you will have time for fully understand what was wrong between the two of you, making the necessary changes to your behaviors that may have caused him to leave;
- you will have the opportunity to recover the lost lucidity, overcoming the phase of the most acute pain and strong irrationality;
- you will be able to make him miss you, allowing him to re-evaluate the importance you still surely have in his life.
