Last update: 21 September, 2018
The perfect couple does not exist: what exists they are people who are able to complement each other in the best possible way and to spend a happy life together.
When it comes to sex, there is always something new to learn. We must not feel wrong if "we do not do it more than three times a week", "we never change position" or "we must always strive so that the spark does not go out" ... If we continue to ask ourselves these problems, life as a couple becomes difficult and heavy.
Everything to do with love, marriage, couples and sexuality is undermined by false beliefs about how things should go. How healthy, true and sustainable your relationship is, in the short or long term, is not something that can be analyzed in an article in a fashion magazine. Nor is it realistic to believe that it works like in movies or books.
All this bombardment makes us feel the need to be madly in love and having sex every day. But real life is different. Sometimes it forces us to put aside feelings such as doubts, jealousy or anxiety, for the sake of the partner.
It's too easy to believe in fairy tales, where romance seems like the best thing in the world. But this leads us to believe that if we don't do things as they "should" be done, there is something wrong with us or that we are with the wrong partner, that he should improve his defects, etc.
But magazines or television don't tell us the whole truth about couple life, simply because, if they did, they wouldn't sell. There are many myths circulating on this subject, and it is good to eradicate them. Because? Simply because in this way we will be able to enjoy life in a more peaceful way and feel more fulfilled. We all experience feelings of frustration, fear, anger, anxiety, or stress from time to time. But that doesn't mean everything is bad.
Truth about sexuality that not everyone admits
When it comes to sexual relationships, it is good to leave the fantasy aside and focus on reality. We need to understand what is really important and realize what hurts us, and what we should do to "live happily ever after". Here are the four truths about sex that not everyone knows:
- Healthy intimacy changes depending on the couple. For some it may mean having relationships every day, for others once a week. We don't all have the same kind of connection, couples are a world unto themselves and no one has to say how often they have to do what (and we're not just talking about sex).
- It often happens that one partner has greater needs than the other. This means that he will probably always take the initiative or come up with new fantasies, such as disguises, games, etc. Having more or less libido does not mean that you don't love your partner, it simply means that we are not all the same. The secret is to try to find a balance, so that it is not always the same person who is the protagonist.
- Sexual relationships don't just happen in the bedroom. More traditional cultures claim that sex is "allowed" only in bed, but this is not true. In this case we can accept what the films show us, because other rooms in the house are also worth using every now and then. And not only to have sexual relations, but also to exchange kisses, caresses, words and displays of affection. All of this also conveys love and romance.
- Having intercourse is not just about reaching orgasm. This is another typical prejudice, which makes us believe that, if both members of the couple do not reach the climax, that sexual relationship "does not count". This greatly limits our possibilities. Sexual intimacy is also given by kisses, caresses, the fact of touching and tasting the body of the other. In other words, enjoying that time together, which is often scarce due to busy schedules and stress.
Most couples who have been together for a long time experience ups and downs. At the beginning, passion is like a river in flood, but over the years it turns into another feeling, that of pure love. Because? Because we know ourselves better, we explore ourselves hundreds of times, we know the tastes of others, we accept ourselves as we are, etc.
If you read an article that says that a couple must have sex from Monday to Sunday to be healthy, bear in mind that this is unrealistic, and it is not always ideal either. It may be possible for a few (lucky, one might say), but it is impossible or at least difficult to maintain over time. Have respect for your relationship and don't let these alleged statistical research tell you how much passion there must be in your sheets. Live unforgettable moments with your partner regardless of what others think and, above all, enjoy your relationship without being trapped by the pre-established "rules".
