Last update: April 17, 2016
Never compete with anyone, admire others and learn from them, this is my advice. It is said that, in the year 1709, in the palace of Cardinal Ottoboni, a musical tournament took place between Georg Friedrich Haendel and Domenico Scarlatti. They were 24 years old and had very unique weapons: a harpsichord and an organ.
The two contenders were even, until the organ tipped the scales in Handel's favor. The rivalry continued, but the admiration one felt for the other never died. Scarlatti always made the sign of the cross when he heard the name of Handel, as a sign of respect.
This anecdote about Handel and Scarlatti shows us that, although there was a rivalry between the two musicians, this did not prevent them from excelling in their field and admiring each other. One must love oneself and be humble enough to admire those who have the same extraordinary abilities and who are worthy of recognition.
“The only way to progress in life as an original person and without feeling the need to compete with anyone is to be yourself”.
-J. C. Cavallëro-
Never compete with anyone, it is not necessary
In today's society, they teach us to compete from an early age. It almost seems that the important thing is to surpass others instead of doing things right. Competitiveness is present in many areas of life and not just in sports: You are competing with others for a job, to get a promotion, to have more friends or to be among the best at doing a business. There are always new contests and contests to find the best in something.
However, For some time, there have been studies that claim that collaboration achieves better results than competition, because a group of people who work together and united can achieve better goals than one person alone. However, to be able to work in a group of people, it is necessary to control one's ego and this requires effort and a great exercise of humility.
“Stay away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Little people always do that. Really great people, on the other hand, make you believe that you too can become one ".
-Mark Twain-
Competitiveness can even exist with oneself, that is, it is possible to be competitive in order to try to surpass oneself and to achieve one's goals. However, even in this sense it is necessary to act with caution, because an excess of competitiveness can lead to a sense of frustration.
We mistakenly believe that we need to be recognized in order to be loved and we think that if we are the best at something, we will get that recognition and that love. Nevertheless, this belief is wrong, because winning does not mean being loved. Winning is ephemeral, while we will always carry with us what we have learned in the process and once we have achieved our goal.
For this reason, we advise you to never compete with others, but collaborate with them. Also, beware of competing with yourself, as doing it to excess leads to loss of confidence and frustration.
Comparison and self-esteem
At a precise moment, the comparison can increase one's self-esteem, although it is usually the way to improve it that involves more unwanted effects.. Adopting this habit distracts us from our tasks, minimizing the inner motivation it can give us.
For example, if we focus on reading more books than our co-workers and enjoy reading, the fact that we compete and start reading almost out of obligation will probably make us hate reading. Always remember: Don't compete with anyone, even in what you like, because you may end up hating them.
To avoid harmful competition, the important thing is to keep increasing your self-esteem and to understand that we are all unique and different, because not even the circumstances in which we live are the same. Being disheartened because another person bought a nicer house than ours or because he got a better job than ours makes us lose our perspective. Our life has different goals than that of others, which are based on what we want and not on what others have achieved.
If we are able to manage our self-esteem in the right way, we will be able to see the positive side of comparisons and use them as motivation in those tasks that we have to complete and that we don't like at all. Despite this, we must be careful, because the line that divides the positive from the negative comparison is very thin and it is essential not to exceed it to avoid extreme perfectionism.
“A bird perched on a tree is never afraid that the branch will break, because its safety lies not in the branch, but in its own wings”.
-Adah Vigo-
