Last update: 05 November 2015
We move in a world where sometimes what is routine weighs on us as if it were an obligation. Some more and some less, we have all experienced at least once in our life that feeling in which although we are doing something out of pure desire, it appears to us rather as an imposition.
They usually force us (and oblige) us to do something without the need to be too explicit. That is to say that in some way, we always end up implying what others expect from us and that it is our duty to carry out.
In any case, the truth is that often when we give our best, our efforts end up not being recognized. This contrasts, on the other hand, with what happens to those who do little but are attributed much more than they really deserve.
The importance of recognizing one's worth
Everyone is free to establish a high or low value for himself, and no one is worth anything except for what he claims; you can therefore attribute to yourself the status of a free man or a slave: this depends on you.
Epictetus
There are people who, although we usually give them everything we have, never feel satisfied. Yet when we finally stop giving them what they think they need, or if they are the ones who have this perception, they accuse us of being selfish and blame us for not caring about them.
From this point of view, it is necessary to highlight how these kinds of habits are not always based on selfishness alone. Sometimes they are determined by confusion or the inability to dedicate oneself to the other.
We must never forget that giving all of oneself can create an imbalance for the other person, who may feel that they are not up to par. This sometimes leads to people getting angry, leaving, or not knowing how to act.
Whatever happens then, the important thing is to behave in a measured way without giving too much to others. As we have pointed out, it is we ourselves who, in some way, establish our value, so it will be advisable that we take all necessary precautions before surrendering ourselves to others.
How to assert yourself
Get rid of those who doubt fi you, be tied to those who appreciate you, free yourself from those who get in your way and love those who tolerate you.
Paulo Coelho
To be free, one must know how to get rid of the selfishness to which we are subjected. If a person we respect expects too much of us, we are not obligated to do so.
In primo luogo, let's forget the cliché that sacrifice makes us better or braver people. This type of attitude leads man to despise and neglect a physical and emotional part of himself, a fundamental part of being happy.
On the other hand, it is good to keep in mind that people who intentionally hurt us and who demand something from us do not deserve to have us by their side, nor that we dedicate our time to them. In other words, we must stop "enduring" all this, and open the doors to goodbyes. Succeeding will make us stronger.
It is natural that if you analyze the problem clearly, you feel hurt or uncomfortable. In these cases, it is advisable to keep the concentration on our being constructive, without harming others, but first of all ourselves.
Everyone has the right to be appreciated and respected
To get rid of those who abuse you, start small, so that you can communicate your needs without feeling guilty for giving up on meeting those of others. To do this it is not necessary to be aggressive, instead be persistent and determined.
So speak in the first person, and start the dialogues of confrontation using phrases such as "There are situations that make me feel little respected ..." instead of "You don't know how to appreciate me".
Working on these feelings leads us to appreciate ourselves first, so that others do the same. This will help us reject all those invasive requests that do not bring us any benefit: in fact we will have clear ideas about what makes us feel good, and what makes us feel bad.
Keep in mind that you have the right to feel respected, and that you must strive to ensure that no one deprives you of the awareness of what you are worth and the recognition you deserve.
