What happens when our way of thinking or acting turns us into our worst enemy? Let's find out together in this article.
Last update: Augusts 12, 2020
There is no doubt, living fully and making your wishes come true on the path to "presumed" happiness is not an easy task. In reality, it is a journey whose outcome is absolutely uncertain and during which sometimes we become our own worst enemy.
There may be adverse external conditions: economic, professional, housing, etc. On the other hand, some personal conditions can act as obstacles, such as suffering from an illness, the loss of a loved one or the frustration of expectations that, at a certain moment, one is no longer able to respond.
All this without forgetting that there is always a competition, more or less evident, with other people willing to fight to achieve the same goals. Of course they will do everything to put a spoke in the wheel. But we could do it ourselves, our worst enemy ...
People who have everything but are unhappy
Some lucky people who live in a supportive environment and who apparently have to overcome a few difficulties to get what they want feel unhappy. But if there are no obstacles, if everything goes smoothly and their life is comfortable downhill, what is the cause of this unhappiness? What triggers this constant dissatisfaction?
Many times these are barriers that are invisible to others, created and thickened by the person. We too can become our own worst enemy if we misjudge ourselves and build mental limits or reinforce negative attitudes towards the goals we set out to achieve. A kind of self-imposed ballast for which we will pay the consequences. And in every area of ​​life.
Often this happens because self-love is lacking, that is, love for ourselves. Self-esteem collapses under the blows of this strange psychological game that has nothing to do with selfishness. It does not mean thinking: “I am superior to everyone and everything”, on the contrary: “I deserve the same treatment and the same understanding that I recognize in others”.
The importance of judging oneself objectively
Loving yourself means recognizing your own worth and considering yourself as important as others. For many people it is not easy, because they do not know how to judge themselves objectively.
Often there is a tendency to exaggerate the virtues of others, forgiving them any defects or justifying their wrong behaviors. On the contrary, one becomes tremendously unfair to oneself, demanding and even cruel. If you recognize yourself in this way of thinking, well know that you are your worst enemies!
This behavior can produce profound bitterness that leads to depression and neurotic behavior. We must learn to evaluate ourselves objectively and not compare ourselves to others. Only in this way will we remove our worst enemy from our mind.
Being our own worst enemy can come from education
Generally this way of being and feeling it is the result of education and a particular maturation. The child is, by nature, self-centered. He does not yet have a social conscience and thinks that everything around him belongs to him and concerns him.
This idea is corroborated by the fact that he is usually put at the center of attention: by parents, grandparents, older cousins ​​... Later, through education and contact with other children, he discovers that there are many other people around. to him. He finds that these other individuals also deserve respect and consideration.
But if this balance fails, most likely as an adult he will be unable to judge himself and others objectively. In comparison with friends and colleagues, he will cancel his own merits and qualities in order not to lack respect for them and driven by an excessive humility, very rigid and probably favored by moral and religious beliefs.
Or, otherwise, to avoid remorse and feelings of guilt, he will judge others negatively, however, favoring an inner attitude that is never genuinely satisfied.
How to stop being our worst enemy
To defeat our worst enemy, the first step is to realize the problem. We need to observe our daily behavior and the dynamics of our thoughts. We will thus discover that, several times a day, we deprive ourselves of small satisfactions thinking, mistakenly, that they do not belong to us nor do we deserve them.
Let's start here, recognizing our abilities e the small results obtained every day thanks to our efforts. Perhaps, without realizing it, one day we will be able to channel this satisfaction by transforming it into the motivation that we lack for now, but that will allow us to achieve what we want (and deserve).
