People in need of love probably grew up with an emotional shortage behind them. If this situation is not addressed, it can cause a long chain of difficult emotional circumstances.
Last update: July 23, 2020
Le people in need of love they probably did not receive the affection and emotional support they needed during their childhood. They waited, but they didn't receive the warmth of a hug, the comfort of loving words, or they simply didn't feel loved by their loved ones.
A person lacking in affection grows up hoping that their wound will heal on its own. He often blames others for the pain he feels when, instead, only acceptance and self-love will save him. For people in need of love this feeling turns into a need.
While there is nothing wrong with striving for love, in this case there is a distortion that leads to a false goal: to compensate for the lack of childhood love and undo the damage caused through other people.
“We owe everything to affection. The days of our existence happen thanks to love ”.
-Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso-
So do people in need of love they end up creating situations that instead of filling their emptiness, increase it and make it more intense. It is a complex psychological condition that requires professional help. Below we will list the seven characteristics that define these people.
7 characteristics of people in need of love
1. Obsession with affection
For people who need love, affection has a disproportionate dimension. They come to believe that everything else is irrelevant. When they receive expressions of affection from someone, a fire breaks out inside them.
They have a hard time getting affection flowing, and the chances of receiving it make them feel very anxious. They get excited and feel fear at the same time. They turn affection into an obsession.
2. They try to control the partner
A common feature of people in need of love is that when they meet affection, they become possessive and control freak. Their goal is not to control the other person's life, but to avoid suffering.
Not very consciously, they believe that if they always keep an eye on their loved one, they will not lose them. The fear of being abandoned or betrayed, the fruit of their past wounds, leads them to a craving for control. This obviously fosters the exact opposite of their purpose and can lead to usury or the breakup of the relationship.
3. They are demanding
People who have not received genuine love have a hard time believing that someone else can show love. For this reason, they demand constant displays of affection. This leads them to be very demanding with their partner or with those with whom they maintain an emotional bond.
This results in ongoing trials and recriminations. "I needed you, but you weren't there." "I wanted it to be special and you didn't." They see love as an absolute and unconditional feeling at extreme levels, which not even a mother is able to manifest.
4. They beg for affection
People in need of love are very demanding, but at the same time too permissive. They know how to endure more than normal. For them, anything is better than losing their loved one and, for this, they even trample themselves.
If they notice signs that the other person is distancing themselves, they become able to do anything to not lose them. They are convinced that they are worth very little and that the other person gives meaning to their life. Therefore, they can tolerate abuse if necessary.
5. They sacrifice themselves in excess
Those who have not received enough love attribute a certain degree of drama and suffering to love. They are so grateful that someone loves them that they find every opportunity to make sacrifices for the person who is showing them affection.
Sometimes love involves sacrifice, this is true. However, these people can go to the other extreme. And when we say extreme we mean that the partner becomes the only person with rights and privileges. Just as if his only duty was to receive and not to give.
6. They don't trust their partner
Despite trying, those who have suffered from a lack of love cannot trust their partner. She is always assailed by doubts regarding her love affairs. She does not expect to receive love, but to be abandoned or hurt.
The lack of trust is so strong that one comes to see evil in good and vice versa. He insists on finding another purpose, hidden agendas or evidence of conspiracy. This brutal need not to be hurt is part of her personality.
7. They tolerate the intolerable
When we talk about the intolerable, we mean mistreatment or any form of abuse. Unfortunately, the vicious cycle of lack of affection leads many people to accept violent behavior from their partner.
They fail to define the line between a disagreement or conflict and an abusive situation. Sometimes the partner gets mad at a trifle, but they are unable to admit that it poses a serious threat to their physical or psychological integrity.
All these behaviors are part of a paradoxical situation. People in need of love should find this affection to fill the emptiness that lives in them. The lack of self-love, however, leads them over and over again to fall into the clutches of the lack of affection. The intervention of a professional is therefore necessary in these cases.
