Being consistent with yourself, aligning what you think and what you do is a way to ensure your psychological well-being. Taking care of your values ​​and having them guide every behavior and every word becomes extremely important.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
The principle of consistency affects all of our efforts as human beings to remain, almost always, consistent with ourselves. Maintaining harmony between what we say and do is one of our greatest needs; between what experience has taught us and what contingency requires. Well, it is also true that it is not always easy to succeed and that this conflict often ends up creating discomfort.
Carl Rogers, a famous humanist psychologist, was one of the first to investigate the principle of coherence or congruence. In 1950, he defined it as an alliance between experience and consciousness. Basically, it would be the result of everything lived and what we learned from it to be able to act in accordance with our scale of values, feelings and desires.
Rogers matured the need to deepen this concept for a specific reason. Incoherence is a factor that often emerges in therapy; we refer to the clear distance between one's needs and what one really does for oneself.
There are many people who ask for help because they feel they are have completely moved away from their "ideal ego". Their lives have lost their meaning as they see the distinct discrepancy between what they want and what they do, between what they feel and what they receive.
When the principle of coherence is broken, discomfort and suffering emerge. It is a sadly common reality that is worth dwelling on.
“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination ».
-Carl Rogers-
The principle of consistency can sometimes be a problem
The principle of coherence was studied, among others, by the writer and psychologist of the University of Arizona Robert B. Cialdini. One of his best-known books is undoubtedly Pre-Suasion. Creating the conditions for the success of the persuaders. In this work, he deepens this theory giving us an interesting and new point of view.
The nuance that Cialdini introduces is the following: sometimes, in an attempt to worry about our consistency, we find ourselves in contradictory situations that end up being problematic. An example could be that of defining themselves as environmentalists and strongly committed to protecting the environment and, nevertheless, continuing to use polluting energy sources.
There are situations in which one can experience a sort of social condemnation because certain aspects are defended even though they are not fully consistent with them. This is further complicated if you want to inspire others, if you have a desire to reach more people through your values ​​and behaviors. But what can be done in these cases? Are we perhaps more inconsistent than we think?
The principle of coherence and the small dissonances
There are cases where it is impossible to comply with the 100% consistency principle. We may not appreciate arguments and conflicts, but we have to deal with them frequently. Or we have certain political ideas and a partner who supports exactly the opposite ones. Or again, we love children but we have chosen not to have them. Despite these apparent inconsistencies, some factors must be taken into consideration:
- One can remain consistent despite apparent daily inconsistencies. After all, as Carl Rogers himself has pointed out, the principle of coherence uses the consciousness of the individual.
- If no dissonance is perceived, if there is harmony between what one hears and what one does, the problem does not exist. After all, the environment we live in is incredibly complex and we are forced to handle more stimuli, people, circumstances and the unexpected than we could.
- The fundamental aspect is that there is always an inner balance. There will always be situations that will undermine our principles, those in which we will react with the right conviction to defend our consistency.
Other times, we will be forced to make small concessions to obtain benefits, while maintaining, despite everything, inner homeostasis (like having a partner with ideals different from their own, but with whom we live happily and satisfactorily).
We are consistent, despite the pressures. It is a question of value
We are well aware that sometimes our thoughts and behaviors are not aligned. This disharmony can manifest itself from time to time without particularly important consequences.
However, the most damaging case is when the principle of consistency is continually violated. Carl Rogers, for his part, links him to the theory of the self, one of his most important contributions.
- When we continually violate the principle of consistency, a clear distance is created between the ideal self and the perceived self. That is, there is an abyss between what we do and perceive about ourselves and what we would like to be; and this abyss makes us suffer.
- Similarly, this lack of harmony generates various mental strategies with which one tries (unsuccessfully) to find a balance. We construct, for example, cognitive dissonances. These are those inner conflicts that arise when we support opposing ideas, and which sooner or later will lead us to justify something that goes against our values, in a vain attempt to reduce psychological suffering.
- We also use complex defense mechanisms to allay such contradictions, completely useless strategies, as this results in an increased level of frustration and anxiety.
In summary, to ensure one's psychological well-being, it is essential to take care of one's principle of consistency. Doing so is extremely important.
This healthy exercise of being and acting according to one's values, at all times, can be complicated at times, but such an effort it will serve to guarantee us a strong self-esteem. Let's try.
