Last update: April 24, 2017
Prudence is a value that we often underestimate or ignore, because we find it boring. On the contrary, there are other things that we consider unfair, but that amuse us and seem to have the function of helping us to socialize, such as gossiping. As for courage, then, we often confuse it with recklessness, without considering that the line of prudence that separates these two spheres is truly remarkable.
The courageous person considers his fears, the reckless one despises them and does not calculate them. For this reason the brave rarely fails, while the reckless ends up becoming a victim of his poor perception of risk.
Everyone, some more and some less, likes to talk about ourselves or other people, but sometimes we don't evaluate the consequences of our actions well and we step out of the way. This behavior, far from improving our ability to socialize, tends to distance people from us.
When a person is reckless, others stop trusting him, because if he does not respect the person who is criticizing in front of us, he will not respect us when he is with other people.
The imprudent, moreover, often tries to be the center of attention, because of his manias for being the protagonist. Behind this behavior lies a great need for approval, which the person tries to satisfy through inappropriate comments. The imprudent who wants to ingratiate himself with others and underestimates the importance of the way he does it, eventually loses all the esteem of others.
How are people cautious?
Prudent people, at least in public, show respect for others. They don't tell secrets, they don't criticize or embarrass others, they don't provoke them. On the contrary, prudent people usually develop very close bonds of friendship, because their friends know they can trust blindly of them and this is precisely the feeling they arouse in others.
People who practice prudence are not afraid of silences. They don't need to fill the conversation with an unnecessary monologue to remain the center of attention. They are people who know how to listen and who respect turns speaking, a very important thing if we want others to be happy with the time they share with us.
Furthermore, a prudent person is reflective: he knows when to say things, in what context and at what time. And, before uttering them, he always thinks about the consequences that his words could have.
Sometimes we make a fool of ourselves and nothing happens. To err is human and the important thing is to learn and think about it first next time. Even if the moments in which we regret not having said something remain engraved in our memory in a more profound way, in reality the moments in which the opposite happened, or in which we have said something that we did not want to say, are more frequent.
Furthermore, people who value prudence are often empathic people. They allow themselves the necessary space to put themselves in the other's shoes and this allows them to reach deeper levels of intimacy. A prudent person can often rely on other values ​​associated with this as well, such as respect and loyalty.
How can we become more prudent people?
As we have seen, being prudent has the great advantage of strengthening our social relationships and also leads others to see us as more polite, respectful and trustworthy people.
Prudence is a skill that can be trained, but you have to be consistent and follow some concrete steps. According to psychology Patricia RamÃrez, thanks to training, we can become people with whom it is more pleasant to spend one's time.
1. Ask yourself if it is the right time and place to tell it
Very often we tell intimate secrets, both ours and those of other people, in contexts that are not among the most appropriate. We must first ask ourselves if the people in front of us want to hear what we are about to tell, if it is relevant in the context in which we are and if it is not better to shut our mouths and keep that secret for ourselves.
2. Ask yourself if you are cheating on someone in telling that thing
If you are about to tell a secret about someone or someone who has been shared with you, think twice and try not to. If you tell a secret, others will think that you are unable to keep things to yourself and will no longer trust you, because you will give the impression of being disloyal.
3. Ask yourself if what you are about to tell is too intimate to be made public
Do you really want everyone to know your most personal problems? Probably not. There are topics you can't discuss with just anyone, no matter how nice those people are. We need to think about which confidants we can really talk to openly and which ones we can't.
4. Ask yourself if you are allowed to tell that anecdote
If someone has told you something but has not given you permission to tell others, just don't do it. You are not the masters of that anecdote, so let its protagonist tell it if he wants to. Don't you do it.
5. Practice active listening
It's not just about talking - listening is extremely important and everyone likes to be heard. Don't talk just to talk, much less to interrupt others. Listen, then you will have time to ask another question. Do not be afraid of silence, it is a good opportunity to give the turn of dialogue to the other person.
6. Do not give opinions or advice unless asked for
It can be very annoying. It is much better to ask the other if he wants you to give him advice, before shooting sentences just because you like. What works for us may not work for the other, and he will certainly be more experienced in his problems than him and will know how to solve them.
7. Do not criticize if the criticism is not constructive
If your criticism is not good for anyone, why do it? Everything we have to say about others must have the goal of contributing something, not taking it away. It is useless to tell a person that we do not like her dress at all if she is not in a position to change it or if we have no better alternatives to offer her.
8. Do not do any favors if you want them to be returned to you at all costs
Favors are made for the sheer pleasure of helping others, never with the intention of having them returned. We shouldn't expect anything in return or go around bragging about helping someone.
What are you waiting for to become more prudent people? Respect, education, loyalty and trust are values ​​that are complicated to nurture, but which we should all harbor within us.. Even just from a selfish point of view, you think that cultivating them will bring you an enormous amount of human and social benefits.
