Last update: February 10, 2016
Disaffection hurts, it hurts the soul and the heart. All our illusions shatter like a vase that falls to the ground with force and shatters into a thousand pieces or like that same vase that has fallen so many times and that we have always managed to repair, but which can no longer be saved.
We don't look at each other anymore, we don't like each other anymore. Our complicity has been lost with everything we have built together, we no longer love each other… But what is the reason? What killed our love? How did he get out of hand like this?
Time, monotony, differences, distance… have separated us.
Disaffection is part of life
Each couple is a world unto itself, and there are thousands of reasons why that love that once united two people has now disappeared. Often we pretend not to see what is happening, and we give ourselves not one last, but a thousand last opportunities to try again, until we can't take it anymore, because everything has a limit.
We can no longer bear all the quarrels and differences, the distance becomes impossible to overcome, or we have been together for so long that we have begun to neglect our love ... We have forgotten to treat it as our most beautiful flower.
What are the signs that we are no longer in love?
- Do not rejoice when you see it
Once you couldn't wait for him to arrive, to tell him about your day, for him to tell you his… You felt excited and no one could replace him. However, now his presence is indifferent to you. Sometimes, you even come to hope not to see it.
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.
-Elie Wiesel-
- You no longer have sexual fantasies about your partner
Don't think about your partner on a sexual level anymore, it doesn't even cross your mind. If you have fantasies, they are about other people, and you can't do anything about it; although you are not unfaithful out of respect, your mind is betraying you.
- There are no more gestures of affection such as unexpected kisses, caresses, gifts
They just don't come naturally to you anymore. The affection that can be shown in so many ways has now disappeared. Do not feel that feeling anymore, the desire to give him a kiss, a caress or even just a hug.
The flame went out, the affection died out, your feelings froze.
- Avoid physical contact at all costs. You don't even want a kiss
You can't stand your partner touching you or kissing you. Not only do you avoid it, but you reject it when it does, you respond abruptly or indifferently.
- Your gaze expresses boredom or anxiety when you are together.
They say that the eyes are the mirror of the soul, and without your realizing it, when you are with your partner, your gaze reflects your sadness and your discomfort. Always remember that it is not your partner who is responsible for it, but yourself. Don't forget to take responsibility for your emotions.
- Don't take an interest in his life anymore, in what happens to him
You used to worry about how his day at work had gone, whether he was sad or happy, how he was with friends, but now, none of this is happening. Sometimes, you don't even remember. You are so submerged in your thoughts that the space you saved for your mate has faded away.
- That person no longer attracts you in any way
You used to like everything about him: his voice, his gestures, his body, his personality, his way of looking at you, of relating to others ... everything! Now you have forgotten every single aspect of her. Sometimes, the same things you used to like bother you.
- Fantasize about the possibility of having a relationship with other people
When you are in love, you have no eyes for anyone else. When you no longer hear anything, you begin to look around ...
You have begun to look at some co-workers, some friends with different eyes… A world full of possibilities opens up around you.
- There is no more communication between you, only reproaches and quarrels
If you talked about everything before, now you have nothing more to talk about, and if you communicate, you can't help but argue, blame yourself for past facts, etc. Rancor has taken possession of you, it has made you its slaves.
- It is no longer part of your life: you no longer do anything together.
Distance is both physical and mental. You feel more and more distant from that person, you feel an ever greater distance outside of you. And you have less and less time to share with your partner.
