Conflicts are common in personal relationships. However, many people don't know how to deal with them properly. If that's your case, this article is for you.
Last update: January 06, 2022
Do you often find yourself in the middle of a conflict that does not concern you? Whenever a problem arises, do you get stuck and don't know how to fix it? It happened to everyone why it is not easy to resolve conflicts calmly and clearly.
But don't worry, in this article we will give some tips to learn how to best deal with these situations. Likewise, certain strategies help prevent problematic people from losing their inner balance.
Why do conflicts arise?
The first thing to take into consideration is that the person who initiates the conflict tends to be dissatisfied with some aspects of his life.
These are individuals who feel little heard or misunderstood and are looking for a way to make themselves heard. In our eyes, a discussion may seem silly, but situations should not be underestimated until one is aware of the reality of others.
Conflicts can also arise from the need to demonstrate power. This is the case of a boss with low self-esteem or a colleague who sees how we move with intelligence and elegance.
These people want to show that they are in first place and authority over others. In these cases it is better to remain calm. They just want to get attention.
Steps to resolve conflicts calmly
To resolve conflicts you have to be calm. Learning to listen, value and understand the other. When conflict is unavoidable, there are a few steps to follow.
1. Listen carefully
Always keeping calm and keeping quiet is ideal for listening to the other person. If she feels listened to calmly and attentively, it will begin to lower the tone of its voice by itself. If she asks why you are silent, say you are listening to her.
2. Don't interrupt
Let the other person speak freely and express the reasons for the conflict and the anger towards you. You should give her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she's right and you didn't realize you were wrong.
The interlocutor wants to be heard, demonstrate its power. Let's allow it. There are people who cannot find the channels to assert themselves and feel groggy, that's why they scream.
3. Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Maybe your work is very stressful or your life is not going the way you want. Think about how you might feel if that were the case. Put yourself in the other person's shoes it will help to better understand the situation and resolve it.
4. Reaffirm what the other person says to resolve conflicts calmly
After listening, it is better to repeat what you understand with expressions such as: "What you want to tell me is ..."; "Yes, I understand what you mean ...".
By doing so, the interlocutor will understand that he is being listened to. Many times that's just what he needs. After you have clarified his point of view, express your views.
5. Admit that you are not right if this is the case
Admitting that you are wrong in front of others shows a lot of self-confidence. Very few are capable of it, so doing so will end the conflict quickly and others will have more consideration.
If you are not sure that you are wrong, however, say it: "You know, you might be right, can we talk about it together?". In these cases, it is better not to advance arguments. You will prove to be a reliable person.
6. Visualize the other person at their best to resolve conflicts calmly
If you know some details of the interlocutor's personal life or something he loves to do, try to visualize the person in that context.
This way you can talk to its best version and that will allow you to address in harmonious and happy tones. Thinking about his calmer self helps to have a conversation on good terms.
Conclusions
Remembering these steps when there is a conflict will help resolve it effectively. Difficulties will be overcome with elegance and it will be possible to optimize time more productively.
Image courtesy of pogonici
