Last update: 13 March, 2016
There are many ways in which gratitude can be expressed; with a behavior, a gesture, a look, a hug, a smile. Words are not necessary to thank, there are many other tools at our disposal. When a thank you comes from the heart, it is touching.
The predisposition to gratitude goes beyond people, it extends to life and nature, the circumstances and the lessons we learn in every situation.
This powerful feeling takes hold in those who are satisfied with their life, who do not feel the need to reproach others, hold grudges and accumulate resentments related to past events.
Everyone experiences bad times, poisoning and tormenting themselves due to unwelcome episodes, to then transmit these same emotions in other contexts, on other people, intoxicating their relationships with others.
"It is madness to hate all roses because a thorn has stung you, to abandon all dreams because one of them did not come true, to give up all attempts because one has failed"
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry- Il Piccolo Principe
Heal your wounds
When we are injured as a result of painful events we have been through, we tend to create a protective bubble around us., a sphere made of countless layers aimed at covering our wounds. This protective bubble will prove useful in certain situations, but it will prevent us from showing ourselves in our intimacy, from opening up to love.
Our beauty, the essence of who we really are, will remain hidden under the set of layers; there will be very few people who we will allow, during short periods of time, to access our purest and most innocent essence, the one that shows us in all our vulnerability and authenticity.
Any experience that can bring to mind our wounds will lead us to be on the defensive, bringing out that feeling of guilt from which we would like to escape.
Closing the wounds requires patience, awareness of what is happening to us; it requires acceptance, as well as the great courage to expose ourselves to the world around us; without fear of going back to suffering, opening up little by little to the experiences that life has to offer.
“Of course I'll hurt you. Of course you'll do it to me. Of course we will.
But this is the very condition of existence.
Being spring means accepting the risk of winter.
Being present means accepting the risk of absence. "
-Antoine de Saint-Exupéry- Il Piccolo Principe
Experience gratitude
Acquiring awareness of our wounds and what they imply in our life will at the same time allow us to open up to what gratitude is. Our predisposition to connect with others will grow through trust and understanding, leaving aside the fear of being betrayed.
Fear and distrust prevent us from feeling feelings of gratitude, keeping us alert for the presence of hidden ulterior motives.
When we receive a compliment, when someone recognizes our work in a certain area or when they dedicate nice words to us as a sign of appreciation, an alarm bell immediately lights up in us that leads us to interpret what happened in negative terms, to convince us of the existence of hidden interests, of the untruthfulness of those words.
It is on occasions like these that we miss the opportunity to be grateful; we divert attention and focus on our fears, a constant element in us that prevents us from welcoming any demonstration of affection or appreciation. So let's boycott our lives by increasing the number of protective layers, that little by little they will become impermeable even towards love.
Make sense of your life
Being grateful means loving yourself, implies knowing how to donate without expectations and without fear. Be open to everything that happens around you, observing the consequences without feeling guilty; without making value judgments, but merely learning from them with humility.
“To love yourself means to welcome the love that surrounds us. Loving yourself means breaking down all barriers. It is difficult to see the barriers that we build around us, but they are there, and they interfere in our relationships. "
-David Kessler and Elisabeth Kübler Ross- You Can Heal Your Heart
Life takes on greater meaning if we are willing to live it, to get rid of the layers that we have built up over time around our wounds. Giving thanks implies taking risks, listening to oneself, feeling, getting excited; getting in touch with the surrounding world and with the relationships we maintain. Basically, it means opening up to the experience of loving and letting oneself be loved.
