Last update: January 22, 2017
Sometimes giving up is not like a coward, but a brave one. Surrender does not always mean lack of value or courage, quite the opposite: courage, prudence, emotional intelligence. There's more. In some life circumstances the courage needed to put an end to something is greater than that needed to continue the story.
Stopping resistance can be a good solution and, sometimes, the only way out we have. And no, it doesn't mean submitting to something or someone or running out of strength as the dictionary says. However, giving in in the face of adversity is considered a negative action in the eyes of others, which portrays us as weak if not cowardly beings.
Cowardice and prudence are two different attitudes
Almost by inertia we tend to qualify, label and confuse attitudes that could explain the same behavior. This is the case with cowardice and prudence.
Both could explain why a person abandons a project. However, if we are part of that project, it will be easier to explain that someone has left because they are a coward to avoid a cognitive dissonance - a lack of synchrony between what we do and what we think - annoying to us.
Virtually any new situation, any responsibility or change comes with fear, to a lesser or greater extent, and we are all aware of this. However, there are people who, beyond fear, think that moving forward is a bad idea and not for this reason are to be considered cowards. In fact, in many cases they are courageous people because perhaps it would be easier for them to continue and the complicated thing is just not doing what others expect.
Cowardly is he who lets himself be carried away by fear, who does not want to take any risk, who listens to his inner voice and denies it, who accepts unhappiness as the price of comfort, etc. On the other hand, those who retreat, those who wait or give up at a certain moment of their life because they think it is the right solution for their well-being, are not a coward..
Surrender is sometimes prudent: let's think about the possible risks that would derive from perpetuating the situation in which we find ourselves and we act in such a way as not to arouse unnecessary prejudices. Changing something when it goes wrong is also brave.
The difference between giving up and "I've already done what I can"
Maybe the change comes only when we decide to throw in the towel and take a different path. This happens because there is a fine line that separates the act of giving up from recognizing that what is possible has been done: if we have done everything we could do and there have been no results, then it is good to give up and start over.
Niccolò Machiavelli
You can't force something that doesn't work. You can't even force someone to feel something they don't feel or want to get something they're not formally or psychologically ready for. Goals sometimes come at a bad time or are impossible: that something is wrong or does not work is part of the mystery of life.
If we have tried and struggled, but we are aware that there is no point in moving forward, then why continue? In this case surrender is an act of loyal and noble awareness in which we take into account our innermost "I".
If there is no more reason, there is no point in wasting one's strength
The energy best invested is the one we use in the art of taking care of ourselves and the people we love most. On the other hand, the energy we have available is limited. So, wasting forces in a useless and unprofitable way means depriving ourselves of that energy.
Fighting without an underlying reason is like butting the wall: we make a futile effort and gain only weakness and fatigue. In the meantime, we really lose a lot of things that are within our reach.
Ultimately, if you are experiencing a situation in which it does not seem feasible to carry out a project, personal or professional, perhaps it is time to ask yourself if it is worth continuing. Remember that giving up is not badindeed, it is always an acceptable option and in many cases a smart solution far from failure.
