Last update: December 07, 2016
Everyone, in a certain moment of their life, goes through painful moments or unexpected situations of a negative nature that must be overcome. However, experiences of this type mark certain people to such an extent that they develop a negative inner dialogue in them. Such dialogue is not advisable, but it is even more dangerous when it risks remaining and becoming a habit.
What is certain is that no one is exempted from confronting a problem that is difficult or impossible to solve due to its complexity or the absence of tools and resources. In such conditions, if we give so much importance to the problem, it is normal for anxiety to appear, because the challenge has become a threat.
“History is nothing more than a dramatic dialogue between man and the universe”.
(Maria Zambrano)
In these cases, it is normal to have internal dialogues that reinforce negative ideas and bring us back to the painful episode that we have not been able to overcome. The worst thing is that, in front of every experience that reminds us of the painful fact, we begin to react in a negative way because we consider it potentially dangerous.
Anticipatory anxiety is the main component of these thought dynamics. From this moment on, the subject creates distorted dialogues that are repeated continuously and that increase the initial anguish, until it becomes unbearable.
A dialogue that leads to states of alteration
When people suffer from these states of anguish and anxiety, they tend to develop a catastrophic internal dialogue. Clearly, this view of life is a product of their altered and, therefore, distorted emotional state. The danger of this situation lies in the fact that, if not corrected in time, it can turn into a vicious circle that will get worse and worse over time, leading to panic attacks.
Typical symptoms of a panic attack include chest pressure, rapid heartbeat, lightheadedness, sweating in the hands, and palpitations. In biological terms, this is the normal reaction of a mammal to a threat. The panicked person considers a situation that can be controlled as a threatening situation. Without realizing it, his internal dialogue reinforces his negative ideas and catastrophists; for this reason, it loses control and goes into crisis.
Panic attacks can escalate and become a serious problem. However, if we act promptly in the face of the first symptoms, the crisis is stopped allowing us to get out of the circle of negative thoughts. This is possible because crises involve learned negative mental dynamics and, therefore, admit changes if we propose it.
Classification of the inner dialogues to be avoided
Psychology specialists have classified four internal dialogues as sources of anguish and anxiety: these are the catastrophic, the self-critical, the victimistic and the self-demanding.
- Catastrophic dialogue: anxiety arises when we imagine the most tragic scenario possible. We anticipate the facts (which in reality will never happen) and we magnify them. This causes a misperception, which can trigger a panic attack. The typical phrase of this inner dialogue is “a tragedy can happen when I least expect it”.
- Self-critical dialogue: the traits that distinguish him signal a permanent state of judgment and negative evaluation of their own behavior. In this case, we tend to emphasize our limitations and flaws by making our life ungovernable. We tend to be dependent on others and start comparing ourselves to them to feel disadvantaged. We envy those who achieve their goals and become frustrated people because we fail to realize our projects. The favorite phrase is "I can't do it, I can't do it, I don't deserve it".
- Victimist dialogue: in this case we feel helpless and hopeless, stating that our situation has no solution, that we never experience improvements. We believe that everything will always remain this way and we build insurmountable obstacles between us and our desires. We complain about the way things are, but we do nothing to change them. In this inner dialogue phrases like "nobody understands me", "nobody esteems me", "I feel bad and nobody cares".
- Self-demanding dialogue: in order to achieve perfection, we allow ourselves to be seized by chronic stress and exhaustion. We are intolerant of mistakes and we try to convince ourselves that the gaps in our life derive from external mistakes and not ours. We consume our minds thinking that we have not achieved our goals due to lack of money, fame, etc. The self-demanding person realizes an inner dialogue by means of phrases such as "it is not enough", "this thing is not perfect", "I did not do it as I wanted".
Take back control
Acquiring awareness of these inner dialogues is a remarkable first step to regain control and avoid a negative perception of ourselves and our environment, which only increases our state of anxiety.
The real change happens when we begin to spot these negative thoughts and replace them with positive affirmations. It is important to control our breathing, to relax and to face situations calmly. Otherwise, the pessimistic and self-destructive attitudes will repeat themselves over time.
It is not easy to change the reactions of this type in the face of what we consider threatening; the same happens when we try to change a bad habit, such as smoking or excessive consumption of sweets. It is clear that it takes effort and determination to change a bad habit, but remember that you can always succeed if you work hard.
