Last update: 16 September, 2015
"Friendship is a single soul that lives in two bodies". Aristotle
Friends represent a solid and eternal pillar in the life of human beings; it could be said that they are our life companions. Friendships are known to do more than just help us when we need them. This is not simply popular wisdom: research has been carried out which claims that strong social support extends our life expectancy.
Often, however, doubts arise in friendship such as “What differentiates a true friendship from a simple acquaintance? What emotional characteristics must a friend have to be unique and be considered a "friend of the heart"? ".
According to Robert Rowney, a psychiatrist and director of the mood disorders unit at the Cleveland clinic, there are certain behaviors that distinguish true friendships from more superficial ones.
Today we tell you about the four qualities that differentiate a true friend from a simple acquaintance. Finding out that people you thought were important in reality are not can hurt or annoy you, but you have to be able to accept it.
What are the 4 qualities that distinguish a true friendship?
- True friends encourage us to accept different aspects of our personality. Humans tend to be very self-critical as well this can lead them to formulate destructive thoughts about themselves. Psychiatrist Rowney argues that a true friend encourages us when he sees us too negative. According to him, "people feel better when they are surrounded by close individuals, who give them support and courage when they need it."
The closest friends are those who show disappointment when they realize that we are treating ourselves too harshly. “True friends naturally increase our self-esteem. At the same time, encouraging a friend also makes us feel better about ourselves. "
- True friends tell us when we are wrong. They are confident enough with us to let us know when we are making a mistake. None of us are perfect and our friends are aware of our mistakes; they choose to share them with us to allow us to learn. "They are capable of showing us both what we do well and what we do wrong and, in both cases, they give us the support we need."
An attitude of this type makes you understand who are the really special and important people in your daily life. “If it is a recent or not very close friend, he will not dare to tell you something that might annoy you; a true friend, someone you really trust, will know how to tell you what you should listen to. It is very important to have clear and direct friends ”.
- You can count on their help and support. One of the most incredible characteristics of your best friend is his eternal concern and concern for you. “A true friend is always there and regards your needs as his own,” says Rowney.
If you want to see if one of your friends actually pays special attention to you, see if they mute their cell phone when you are together. A study carried out in the UK in 2012 argues that having a mobile phone can distract us when we are with someone. Your best friend will not take such an attitude towards you.
- True friends listen to you with their hearts. It often happens that you talk to someone and notice that your interlocutor often changes the subject in order to be able to talk about himself. Conversations with your best friends are neither monologues nor soliloquies.
When we maintain an open dialogue with a person, we strengthen the relationship with that person. Paul Sacco, assistant professor at the University of Maryland, states that the key to a balanced conversation is to actively pay attention to what the other is saying.
Finally, HuffPost Healthy Living argues that “people who know how to listen value the feelings of others. They show that what they are told makes sense and deserves to be heard ”.
