Last update: Augusts 13, 2015
To live in a state of well-being and constant growth, we should learn to let go of situations or people that do not improve the quality of our life. It is usually difficult not to cling to things, because the human being feels more secure in the face of what he knows, and when he loses something he was used to, fear and uncertainty appear.
Couples who are not happy and continue to be together, jobs that ruin our day, toxic friendships, families that stifle freedom, etc. There are so many situations and people that surround us and make our lives worse, yet we continue to hold on to them, with stubbornness.
Why is it so important to learn to let go?
Why life is constantly changing and offers many new things, so grabbing hold of something that doesn't work means settling for a quality of life that we could improve if we let things flow naturally.
How many times have we seen situations where people were anchored to something that did not make them happy? That friend who tells us about the boy who does not respond to her messages, yet she continues to insist despite her frustration, trying to convince him, to like her, etc. Behaving this way means being trapped, because as we stubbornly fight for something that doesn't bear fruit, we miss the opportunity to let new and better things into our lives that make us happy.
Letting go means accepting each situation for what it is. It means not forcing things and letting them flow naturally. If, for example, we write to someone who interests us and we do not receive a response, it is better to accept it and move on, open up to new experiences and meet other people.
This doesn't mean we don't have to fight for what we care about, but the world of relationships works like a board game where both players have to roll the dice and move their pawns. If we roll the dice once and the other doesn't, there is no point in continuing to play alone, because on the other side there is no interest. The rational thing is to quit the game and look for someone else who wants to play with us.
In real life it happens the same: playing means showing interest, if we write to someone and they do not respond, therefore, it is better to accept it and change person. If we analyze the behavior of the people around us, we will likely find many people who are playing alone, stuck in relationships that do not make them happy.
The trap of the questions
Spesso to let go it is not an easy task. Most people, when they realize that something they care about is slipping out of their hands, don't accept it and look for answers. Why don't we talk like we used to anymore? Why do not you Love Me anymore? Why are you so elusive with me? And so on. We need explanations, arguments, we are used to pressuring others to get what we want, and all this to lack of acceptance.
The truth is that the people who value us and who love us will continue to stand by our side without the need for this effort, because they will put theirs into it. Believing that we have to sacrifice ourselves in order to achieve something is wrong, because unrequited sacrifice brings frustration and immobilizes us. You will notice that something is worthwhile when everything flows naturally, and it is a mutual give and take.
Let go of ideas too
Letting go doesn't just apply to situations and people: we also often have to let some ideas fade if we want to achieve happiness. Quite often, on the contrary, we fail, because we necessarily want things to go as we say.
Weekend plans that fail, believing that without a partner you can't be happy, mulling over the past to complain, believing you are worthless, avoiding doing things out of fear, etc. All ideas that cause negative feelings, and that we should let go of our minds.
If we had no thoughts, we would probably enjoy life more, because we would dedicate ourselves to living the present as it is, without trying to change it, accepting it. We would be focused only on the enjoyment of that moment, we would adapt to what we have and we would not try to adapt reality to us.
Let go of the bonds
Nature is wise, and even trees let their leaves fall in the fall so that they can grow more vigorous in the spring. This situation can be viewed positively or negatively. Falling leaves in autumn can be considered negative because they dirty the streets and the branches remain bare, or positive because the streets are adorned with a colorful carpet and the branches prepare to receive new leaves...
We must train our mind to see the beauty in every moment and, when we feel it is necessary, to renew our life. We let go of what makes us unhappy, we let go of the bonds so that we can continue to flow.
The river of life flows between the banks of pain and pleasure. The problem arises only when the mind refuses to flow with life and runs aground on the banks. By flowing with life I mean acceptance: welcoming what comes and letting go of what goes. (Sri Nisargadatta Majarj)
Image courtesy of Eduardo Robles
