A safe and well-known route is not always the best solution. Sure, it can minimize the risks, but it can also limit our chances of learning new things and taking steps forward that will allow us to achieve our well-being.
Last update: June 22, 2020
Many times trying to find the best solution to our problems, we engage in behaviors that can create new ones. We stick to our comfortable lifestyle and reject the opportunity to explore new avenues. Sometimes looking at life from new perspectives generates a kind of terror in us.
The problem is that, in many cases, people are content with comfortable, but unrewarding, ways of life. It is possible that the life we ​​live is not exactly like the one we had designed based on our goals and values. Despite this, there is something that prevents us from avoiding that stone that makes us stumble on our way.
Fear of failure prevents us from getting out of our comfort zone and arouses negative emotions in us. Although we are aware of the need for change, we remain anchored to "safe" situations which, however, do not allow us to progress.
For example, we continue to have a relationship with our partner or with family members or relatives who no longer give us anything or even cause continuous problems. Or we continue to do a job that is below our capacity because we are afraid of occupying a position with greater responsibility. Generally, we tend to think that staying in the current situation is the best solution. To put it briefly, we are content with what we know and think we have everything under control.
Situations that are familiar to us are usually the most comfortable. We often tend to overestimate these comforts, even though deep down we know that easy situations don't always offer advantages. The fear of leaving our comfort zone is so great that we prefer to choose superficial, but continuous pain, rather than intense, but limited in time.
Comfort as the best solution
Convenience seems to be a highly valued aspect of humans. In fact, living comfortably gives us a sense of control which greatly reduces our anxiety levels.
If we were to face new situations every day without knowing if they are good or bad for us, we could die of stress. Looking for a little comfort, therefore, is not in itself counterproductive.
When does the problem arise? The problem appears when we opt for comfort when, in reality, we are not really as comfortable as we think. In the situations we live in every day, we know how to move like a fish in the water and we are sure that we can control the things that happen to us. The reality is quite different. We can control very few elements outside of ourselves.
What seems comfortable and safe, in fact, is not. Try asking yourself: "Am I happy with my life?" or "Am I having as much fun as I should?".
Perhaps, in the short term, you can be happy with what you have and feel reassured. But if you think long term or look back, you may find yourself in the same spot as ever and feel that something has not gone the way it should have.
In these cases it is possible that your safe zone has set a trap for you. It is like climbing a ladder that takes you to a precipice. Drop down and retrace the same road with the same slope. You know this kind of loop and you feel comfortable. But is it really the best way to approach things? As we have already said, sometimes the best solution is not the simplest.
Fear of feeling uncomfortable
The fear of having to face unpleasant situations, which we do not control or which could arouse negative emotions, does not allow us to explore new paths.
Our society requires us to be happy and to suffer as little as possible. It is as if experiencing so-called negative emotions were a sign of weakness. We make them such a big problem that we try to avoid them at all costs. “Better a known evil than a new thing to know” we often repeat to ourselves. With the idea that we must have fun at all costs, we live our lives trying to avoid any event that can cause sadness, discomfort or guilt.
The end result is constant dissatisfaction. The feeling that we are missing something is strong. This happens because we conform to what makes us always stay in the same place, without thinking that life could be better. To reach the other side, sometimes it is necessary to cross a river full of rocks and with very cold water. An uncomfortable but necessary journey.
In these cases, the secret is to take our steps intelligently. Good is not always so good. Make a decision, eliminate baseless fears, and get going. You will find that those "monsters" you should have encountered rarely appear. And if they do, they're not that terrifying. Remember that it is your mind that amplifies things.
Sometimes the best thing to do is not stand firm on our certainties, but face the uncertain, the new. You can say to yourself, “Here I am, no matter what happens, I will deal with the situation in the best possible way. I will cry if the case calls for it or if I feel like it. And I'll laugh when the time comes ”. By openly and courageously accepting what life has in store for you, you will gain new experiences and learn things you did not know. Leave some room for surprises!
