Last update: October 15, 2015
Curious and surprising at the same time, there is an experiment based on a questionnaire of 36 questions and a series of glances at your partner, which guarantees you will fall in love safely ... Or at least this is what the inventor of this curious test, Arthur Aron, professor of psychology, says at the University of Toronto (Canada).
His thesis is based on the idea that love is not a feeling that appears suddenly, but we fall in love because at a given moment we decide to do it. If you are tired of dating websites that promise you to find love or wait for the wheel of fortune to turn in your favor, Professor Aron urges you to fill out the questionnaire.
In fact, there is a curious story which is worth telling you. A teacher of Literature at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver, Mandy Len Craton, he decided to try the experiment, then recounting his experience to the New York Times.
What exactly does the experiment consist of?
Before continuing with the professor's story, we will now illustrate the experiment. First of all, it is necessary to specify that the test has been designed to establish a strong intimacy between two people, intimacy that is sometimes reached only after months or years of frequentation, especially considering that the more you grow, the more you become open to others. This test gives you the certainty of reaching that intimacy in just 2.
After answering the 36 questions, the two people must look into the eyes for 4 long minutes, without looking away. According to Aron, these two simple steps are enough to fall in love.
Continuing with the story ...
The woman decided to carry out the experiment with a colleague. They both answered the questionnaire in a bar and, once finished, the two considered it more appropriate move to a less crowded place for the second phase, deciding to go to a nearby bridge ... And there they began to look into each other's eyes, even setting up the stopwatch to make sure not to exceed the four minutes even by a second.
“During the first two minutes, I focused on normal breathing. There were several awkward smiles, but then we got used to it. I know that the eyes are the mirror of the soul "...
What is undeniable is that the following year the professor got married to her experiment partner. Of course, all of their colleagues were invited to the wedding. Surprising, isn't it?
The purpose of the experiment is to stimulate two basic ingredients of any falling in love: intimacy and trust.
Are you curious to know the most interesting questions of the questionnaire? Below you will find them all and, as you can see, the degree of intimacy increases after each question.
- Who would you like to have as a dinner guest if you could choose from all the people in the world?
- Would you like to be famous? For what?
- Do you ever feel what you have to say before making a phone call? Because?
- What is a "perfect" day, in your opinion?
- When was the last time you sang to yourself? And in front of someone else?
- If you had the chance to live to be 90 while keeping the mind or body of a 60-year-old for the last XNUMX years of your life, which would you choose between the two?
- Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
- List three things that you and your partner seem to have in common.
- What things in your life do you feel most fortunate / grateful for?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- Take four minutes and tell your life story in as much detail as possible.
- If you could wake up tomorrow having acquired one quality or skill, what would it be?
- If you could see the truth about yourself, your life, the future or whatever in a crystal ball, what would you want to know?
- Is there anything you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why didn't you do it?
- What is the most important milestone you have achieved in your life or your greatest achievement?
- What are the things that matter most to you in a relationship of friendship?
- What is your dearest memory?
- What's your worst memory?
- If you knew that within a year you will suddenly die, would you change anything about the way you are living? Because?
- What does friendship mean to you?
- What role do love and affection play in your life?
- Alternately list five positive characteristics of the other.
- Do you have a close relationship with your family? Do you think your childhood was happier than average?
- What relationship do you have with your mother?
- Everyone say three sentences with "we". For example: "We are both in this room and we feel ..."
- Complete this sentence: "I wish I had someone I can share with ..."
- Explain to your partner the things about yourself that it would be important for them to know if you became close friends
- Tell your partner what you like about him / her; be very honest, and also say things you generally wouldn't say to someone you just met
- Tell an embarrassing episode in your life.
- When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And alone?
- Tell your partner something you already like about him / her.
- What is - if any - the topic that cannot be joked about for you?
- If you died tonight unable to communicate with anyone, what is the thing you regret not telling someone? Why haven't you told him yet?
- Your house catches fire, with everything you own inside. After saving your loved ones and animals, you have time to make one last run inside and take away just one item. What would it be? because?
- Who is the member of your family whose death would affect you the most? Because?
- Talk about your personal problem and ask your partner for advice on how he or she would deal with this problem. Also ask him to describe how it seems to him that you feel about the problem you have chosen to talk about.
The experiment has already become a smartphone application
There are many newspapers around the world that have decided to publish Professor Aron's 36 questions; moreover, a North American boy had the brilliant idea of ​​creating the app "The Love game", Or" The game of love ". You will just have to convince another person to undergo the experiment with you, answer the questionnaire and look at you continuously. Will love be born? You can now verify it yourself.
