Last update: December 29, 2016
In the film A Beautiful Mind, which narrates the struggle against schizophrenia by the mathematician John Nash, Nobel laureate in economics, there is a scene that exemplifies emotional intelligence. A young Josh Nash finds himself in a bar when a girl approaches who draws his attention to him. Instead of using the typical phrases of conquest, characterized by a discreet game, his proposal is direct and in no uncertain terms: he prefers to spare himself all the ritual of the court and demands an "exchange of fluids".
Romantic to die for. The girl, who looks at him astonished, can only think that he is a hound. However, John Nash is considered an eminence, and already during these early youthful years he distinguishes himself, even among his own university professors. However, at the level of emotional intelligence, his intelligence coefficient did not have to be very high.
Emotional intelligence is the ability that allows us to control our emotions and express them assertively. Although the word "intelligence" is usually linked to concepts concerning memory and cognitive ability, the mind is much broader and since the last century, scholars have dedicated themselves to analyzing other areas of the brain.
Since the origins of the human being, emotions led the dances: the brainstem, the most primitive part of the brain, which controls the basic functions, gave rise to the emotional centers and it was only millions of years later that the neocortex was formed, which it gives us the capacity for reasoning. It is precisely in this order that we still act today: first we try something and then we think about it; first he hurts a finger and then we realize that he is locked in the door.
The amygdala, on the other hand, is the part of the brain where emotions are controlled. If it separates, we lose the ability to analyze the emotional meaning of events and the memory is damaged, since it is it that retains all the memories related to our emotions, both happy and traumatic. Furthermore, without the amygdala we lose the ability to produce tears. A true emotional blindness.
It also lies in it why our childhood experiences play such an important role in our adult life. As children we store memories directly in the amygdala, without a verbal process to support them. At this stage, the facts are limited to pure emotions and we don't need words to explain what happened and why. As we grow up, these emotional memories occur several times, often without being able to control them, even though our adult selves know they are irrational.
Many problematic children and adolescents at school are mistakenly classified as stupid, but in reality their problem is not a cognitive limit, but an emotional one: they have difficulty in handling their emotions and impulses. All our thoughts are oriented on guaranteeing emotional comfort. If we are not comfortable, however much the circumstances may convince us to the contrary, we will not be in a position to find a balance.
In a society where reasoning seems to dominate emotions more and more, it is important to consider that emotional intelligence plays a more primitive role than even the rational brain. However, emotional education is rarely given priority in education systems. We are not educated to observe how we feel and, therefore, we do not know how to react effectively to our feelings.
In this way, it is possible to see how emotional intelligence plays a more important role than just picking up at a bar. Thanks to it, we are able to motivate ourselves, to control our impulses, to regulate moods and to empathize with others. It allows us not only to live with those around us, but also to survive. It is, therefore, the sphere that controls most of who we are.
Image courtesy of Brandon Warren.
