The laws of attraction remind us that in addition to chance there is also connection. Of all the people we meet every day, only a few manage to cross the threshold of our hearts.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2022
The laws of attraction in couple relationships reveal that the way we find our other half is not always tied to simple chance. There are small clues, connectors, spaces of complicity that push us to feel attracted to one person and not another; the biological, social, emotional and even the unconscious elements weave the fabric of love.
Psychology has always tried to unravel the mystery of human attraction. If we limit ourselves to explaining passion and attraction as an effect of hormones, neurotransmitters and the rest of the chemical universe, we take a somewhat reductionist perspective. After all, in a certain sense, all of us have at least once had the feeling that there is “something more”.
Helen Fisher, the famous anthropologist, biologist and expert in emotional relationships, points out in her book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love that falling in love is never a personal choice. Some people hit us almost without knowing why and without realizing it the attraction machine is set in motion little by little.
It is therefore very difficult for science to give a single explanation of how love is orchestrated. Following this, it is common to resort to a series of laws that provide us with an explanation, an origin and a definition of the mystery of human attraction. Let's analyze this data in detail.
“In principio tutti i pensieri appartengono all’amore. Dopodichè, tutto l’amore appartiene ai pensieri”.
-Albert Einstein-
The four laws of attraction in couple relationships
The laws of attraction in couple relationships respond to social, biological and anthropological principles. The mystery of love must be analyzed from different perspectives. Most likely some will seem more accurate than others, but all of them offer us a very interesting global view.
It must be emphasized that in recent years the world of psychology has become interested in other visions beyond the point of view of neuroscience. Thus, studies such as the one conducted by Dr. Vanessa J Bonhs of the University of Berlin show us that today we understand the mechanism of sexual attraction, but in reality, not everything can be explained through neurochemistry. So let's see what the 4 laws of attraction in relationships are based on.
1. The law of personality
There are ways of being, of expressing oneself and of behaving that attract and this is an undeniable principle. As is often said, beyond the physical there is the personality, and often, there are profiles that fascinate for many reasons.
Intelligence, closeness, the art of knowing how to connect through dialogue, warmth, that wit that leaves its mark and mentally challenges us ... All this triggers a mechanism capable of making people fall in love.
2. Law of proximity
Among the laws of attraction in relationships, this may seem the simplest, but it is no less valid. Humans share common spaces for many hours a day: universities, work, gyms, community buildings, etc. Whether we like it or not, we end up interacting with a small number of people, where the relationship can gradually become more meaningful and intimate.
Many people have ended up in relationships after being, for example, classmates or workmates for years. Thus, according to this principle, it is frequent that we end up choosing a partner among those we have close to us on a daily basis.
3. The law of similarity
Is it true that opposites attract? True, it happens sometimes. But science states that what very often happens is that we feel attracted to those people with whom we share common interests.
It is always comforting to find someone who shares our passions, that shares our values ​​and aligns with many of our goals, dreams and desires.
4. The laws of attraction: appearance or physical aspect
We know that in the laws of attraction, physical appearance is often a key element. However, there is one nuance that is worth considering. In most cases we clearly notice the people we find pleasing to the eye, but at the same time, almost without us noticing it, these men and women often have similar traits to ours. There is something familiar.
That is, even though there are many couples with physical differences (one partner can be very tall and the other very short, one very attractive and the other much less, one with dark skin and one with light skin, etc. According to this theory, we seek or end up being attracted to that person with a family component, someone who somehow harmonizes with us.
Finally, we can obviously agree or disagree with these laws of attraction in couple relationships. Most of us have probably experienced these realities before. Let's look at who we are close to, often the personality ends up fascinating much more than the physical aspect.
However it may be, and despite the fact that science always tries to give an objective explanation to every human experience, we could say that the universe of attraction continues to draw lines that perhaps only poets and artists can define. What do you think about it?
