Last update: February 01, 2017
Sometimes two souls meet as the oldest stars in the firmament do. Without realizing it, we enter the same gravitational field in which almost everything is in harmony. We're talking about of mental attraction that goes beyond physical attraction, because it conquers and dazzles, leads souls to caress and navigate in the same direction.
This type of attraction, which goes beyond the skin and is also part of other processes, is more common than we think. The fact remains that, however, the physical aspect retains a considerable importance. As the social psychologist Solomon Asch demonstrated in The Theories of Personality, people think that everything that is beautiful is also positive and beneficial.
"It is admirable that someone is able to make you feel certain sensations without even touching you with a finger".
(Mario Benedetti)
When we talk about attraction, we must consider that many of these mechanisms work according to unconscious processes. The physical is our business card and it attracts a lot of attention, of course; however, we do not always have a perfect or infallible perception of it. Biology, chemistry and our psycho-emotional needs shape the gravitational field in which we approach certain profiles, with which, sometimes, without knowing how, a magic and a vital project are born.
We are not talking about the so-called "soul mates" at all, but about personalities who enter into connection, who are in perfect harmony with each other and who are able to create a strong and satisfying bond. This is an interesting topic with many nuances that we would like to reflect on with you.
Mental attraction does not seek soul mates, but travel companions
Let's start by talking about a curious fact that should invite you to reflect. According to a study carried out by Dr. Raymond Knee, director of the social psychology laboratory at the University of Rochester, more than half of individuals believe that a soul mate exists, that people are meant for someone and that this type of attraction goes beyond. beyond what at first sight is understandable and reasonable.
In the vision of the concept of soul mates, the aspect of mental attraction is certainly a basic pillar. Nonetheless, as the author explains in articles such as The science of soulmates, this form of attraction goes beyond the simple mental processes associated with the union derived from values, needs and affection, since it is linked to a more spiritual sphere.
“To love is above all to understand”.
(Françoise Sagan)
It is evident that this does not make sense from a purely scientific point of view. There are people who leave things in the hands of fate that should be under their control. True mental attraction has nothing to do with magic or destiny, but refers to the union of two mature personalities seeking a present relationship, which goes beyond the concept of eternal love, personalities who want a travel companion to fight for day by day.
United by destiny or united to grow
Dr. Raymond Knee is still researching the social conception of soulmates today. Thanks to his study, it is possible to create a test with which to evaluate our vision on the subject; after carrying out this test, we will know if we belong to one of the following groups:
- People who believe in the existence of soulmates. In this case, mental attraction is understood as that process by which our union with the other is so intimate and exceptional that we do not need to tell ourselves that we love or miss him in order to know. In other words, we are one.
- People who believe that emotional relationships are a part of their personal and emotional growth. In this second case, fate is of little or no importance. No one is meant to be with anyone, we create the bonds by investing time, will and effort when we meet our travel companion.
According to this last criterion, mental attraction responds to a concordance of interests, passions and values ​​and to the ease with which we negotiate and understand each other, to reach an agreement without waiting for the other to guess what happens to us. Not understanding this concept could lead to deep frustration.
The secrets of mental attraction
Physical attraction is strong, intense and out of control. We know this and this fascinates us. However, the true magic of the most authentic and stable relationships lies in an ideal balance between both dimensions and mental seduction is the most brazen, vivid and exciting ingredient.
"Love makes possible the paradox of two beings who become one, yet remain two."
(Erich Fromm)
If you want to delve into the secrets of true mental attraction, you will realize that, indeed, there is very little supernatural in it, but there are many emotions, drives, chemistry and that intuition buried in our unconscious that tells us what the person most suitable for us at a given time.
Let's see some aspects together.
The first aspect to consider is undoubtedly reciprocity, which consists in receiving positive reactions, in feeling recognized and appreciated and in seeing ourselves as important figures. in the eyes of the other; all these elements certainly form a notable attraction.
- Mental attraction also consists in having similar interests, in seeing the world from the same perspective and with the same principles. Clearly, there may be differences in certain aspects, but these small dissonances are respected and even valued.
Mental attraction comes on thanks to the challenge. There are people who make us feel alive, who challenge us with their gaze, with their knowledge, with that delicate combination of familiarity and the unknown. Little by little, something materializes in front of us that excites us, that fills our mind to irremediably ignite our heart and let our souls caress each other.
