The inner dialogue influences the way we perceive the events around us and react to them. We invite you to reflect on how to make communication with yourself work in your favor.
Last update: June 20, 2021
Inner dialogue is a means of speaking to ourselves in everyday life and generates the thoughts to which we then give voice. Are we capable of expressing to others what we think, what goes through our minds? Actually no: we have a tendency to filter our communications, in form and content.
Here is a simple example: we are stopped on the street by a man trying to sell us something, and in a kind way we say "I'm sorry, I don't care". Inside us, in reality, the thought is "who knows how many times he has had to endure the rudeness of passers-by", "he is dressed in an inappropriate way", "I am in a hurry and I have no time to stop", "I will say no to him with a smile".
Inner dialogue (commonly referred to as "thinking") is nothing more than a conversation we engage in with ourselves and that enormously affects the way we relate to the world. But also the way we treat ourselves.
As we see, the dynamics of our inner dialogue conditions the way we deal with conflicts and obstacles. How are you used to addressing yourself? What evaluation criteria do you reserve for yourself and others? Are they negative or positive?
In the next lines we will talk about the therapeutic power of inner dialogue and some important factors to take into account.
What does the inner dialogue consist of?
Vygotsky and Bakhtin interpreted the inner dialogue as an internal subjective tool for relating and communicating with oneself. This language is established in the first phase of life.
In the early years of the child, communication is outward-facing and devoid of almost any filter. Gradually, the child learns to create a dialogue with himself.
According to Vygotsky, external dialogue is what we use to address others, while internal dialogue is directed at ourselves. According to the author, it is the experience of speaking internally in silence; he calls it a soundless language, a verbal thought.
“He will have to learn to address himself with affection, so he will live better and longer. Because a positive and optimistic outlook on life comes from inner language. "
-Rojas-
Does it define our person?
Luis Rojas, psychiatrist and author of The Right Word. Communicating better to live better, she says: “thoughts are part of our daily dynamic, of what we say and judge and how we do it. Sometimes we don't pay enough attention to those internal monologues, the power of which can be destructive or highly positive ”.
In other words, the inner dialogue influences the way we perceive what is happening around us and, indirectly, our reaction.
If we think and tell ourselves that the world is bad because “I am a useless person”, it is likely that we will no longer have difficulty in overcoming the obstacles that arise in front of us.
Having negative thoughts affects the way we act and behave. Furthermore, these thoughts are so ingrained that they are difficult to counter.
"I am convinced that speaking is the most effective natural human activity to protect a healthy self-esteem, manage one's life, make the most of coexistence and emotional relationships and stimulate the natural devices that facilitate our physical, mental and social well-being."
-Rojas-
The therapeutic power of inner dialogue
The way we talk to ourselves affects the way we perceive the world. Professor Ethan Kross of the University of Michigan has conducted a series of experiments in this regard.
He thus came to the conclusion that people who speak positively to themselves are more likely to succeed, are more confident and are perceived as happier.
As we see, internal dialogue can have positive and negative effects depending on how we deal with it. This explains why in therapy we work precisely on inner communication in an attempt to change the way we think to generate greater personal well-being.
"The inner dialogue has an important therapeutic power: talking to oneself from a positive perspective, trying to examine what happens to us, trying to understand our intrinsic functioning, produces a therapeutic effect".
Finally, we underline the importance of the inner dialogue as it affects our well-being. We invite you, therefore, to examine how you address yourself and to study its effects. This is the first step to avoid becoming one's own worst enemy.
