Feeling an extra and not a protagonist in the film of your life has consequences. We should think a little more about ourselves and beyond. Being at the center, in some situations, helps to earn in terms of well-being. Here's how to do it.
Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: February 18, 2022
It's time to learn to think about yourself. Doing so will promote mental health and happiness. For this reason, and despite what we have been made to believe, appreciating and giving oneself the right priority is not an act of selfishness. On the other hand, those who choose to cancel themselves in the needs of others, forgetting themselves, lose value and impulse to self-esteem.
In the text Alcibiades I, attributed to Plato, in an interesting dialogue between Socrates and his disciples, an important gesture is praised: the care of oneself.
The idea of ​​"cure" goes beyond simple attention to one's body and health in general. The great philosopher speaks, above all, of the need to know oneself, to fulfill oneself as human beings, to reach an ideal condition of being.
Conquering this personal goal appears increasingly difficult. One of the things we observe through psychology is that with the passage of time the needs of the human being have become more complex. Between the 60s and 80s, for example, a common problem was the identity crisis. Who I am and what I want were questions that were eagerly sought for an answer.
Nowadays we have gone further. We are living through years of uncertainty, instability, we are afraid of losing at any moment what we took for granted until yesterday. All this leads us not only to ask ourselves who we are, but also to live in "survival mode", without knowing what to expect or how to react to adversity.
This context causes anxiety, stress and, above all, a common problem: the lack of self-esteem. Thinking and prioritizing yourself, clarifying what is important to yourself, strengthening your worth and self-concept will be of great help.
Learning to think about yourself: the pillars
According to sociologists, we live in a world that is increasingly individual, atomized. We certainly enjoy greater possibilities for movement, action and choice. In this context or lifestyle, however, we don't feel satisfied. Unhappiness and a sense of emptiness are widespread dimensions.
There are many factors that explain this fact and one of them is the inability to place proper value on oneself. Apparently, this presumed individuality is two-fold. In fact, we continue to depend on fashions, social trends and, also, on the expectations of others.
At the same time, emotional relationships based on addiction abound. This also leads us to estimate the needs of the partner as more important. Being a secondary actor in the theater of life is a role that pays off. There comes a time when, looking at ourselves in the mirror, we no longer like what we see.
When we are not satisfied with the person reflected in the mirror, because we no longer identify with them, it's time to learn to think about ourselves. Here are some useful strategies.
Physical and mental rest
When we carry so much responsibility on our shoulders, when we have spent years looking after the needs of others first, we begin to feel it. It is a state of exhaustion, physical and mental, a black hole that absorbs our energy, our enthusiasm and our motivation.
Who could continue to be useful to others in this situation, but especially to themselves? That is why it is vital to take a rest. Start with a couple of days dedicated only to yourself to regain strength and put your thoughts in order. Afterwards, you will have to learn to dedicate a couple of hours to yourself every day of your life. The moments of solitude reconnect us to our identity and our needs.
Doing what you love, even passions have priority
To learn to think about yourself, you need to remember that what you are passionate about defines. This is why it is important not to put one's passions in a corner to think about others, to follow the interests of partner, friends, family. Let's recover our position: doing the things we love is inspiration, energy, helps us to give our best and, above all, protects our balance.
If you have a dream in the drawer, dedicate energy to it. If you have interests, don't neglect them. Bring something special with you every day, something that makes you feel fulfilled.
Life is not just "doing". “Feeling” is also important
We spend our lives doing things: we go to work, go shopping and run errands, cook, sleep, plan… Well, between these daily dynamics, where have the sensations, the positive emotions, the feelings gone? To learn to think about yourself, you need to be clear about one aspect: even stopping to be, to feel is a priority.
Acting and feeling are not mutually exclusive. The key is to make sure that many of the actions also give you satisfaction. Responsibilities and goals to achieve at work, for example, can motivate and help you grow.
It is also necessary that the time shared with others is of quality. Otherwise, if life as a couple, in family, with friends or colleagues is not satisfying and insidious, you are investing time in unhappiness.
Strengthen self-esteem to learn to think about yourself
Those who practice thinking about themselves and putting themselves first when necessary work on the muscle of self-esteem every day. When we are able to see ourselves positively, to feel worthy, courageous and with enough strength to face challenges and make our dreams come true, our mind changes and we feel fullness.
Self-esteem is the core that feeds everything else. It is the heart of our identity, the roots that make skills flourish. So how we feel depends on how we feed it.
Feel the protagonists of your life: it will help you to move forward with greater integrity, to tune your values ​​with actions, thoughts with words, desires with reality. We invite you to work on these aspects, every day.
