Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Living is a constant task in which to sew dreams and untie knots, past and present ones, to advance with more freedom. Having a meaningful life in turn implies knowing how to be wise story weavers, artisans of good relationships and seekers of better spaces and environments to continue growing in happiness, free from dark clouds and cold winds.
Starting from this set of ideas is certainly a good way to deal much better with the fluctuations that occur in our always complex "here and now". An exemplary sentence in this regard is the one that reads “life is not how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce”.
In other words, having a satisfying reality is a delicate process in which to know how to react in time to adversity, understand that happiness is not a linear path, but an exercise in creativity, reaction, action and survival.
"You only live once, but if you do it well, once is enough"
-West is-
Living is not just about existing, we know, but sometimes we forget it. We neglect the fact that standing up as authentic protagonists of this scenario that opens up before us every day requires different things of us. The first is the responsibility with oneself. The second is to have passion, enthusiasm, an authentic desire to be, to be there and to aspire to better things. The third is to be able to give our life meaning.
The latter term is important and we must remember it. In fact, within the current of positive psychology it is a word that is becoming much more relevant than the very concept of "happiness". The reason? While happiness is often a time-limited entity, being able to give meaning to our reality will provide us with something lasting, a reason to be and to exist.
Can we live our way?
We've all thought that a few times. We have all told ourselves that nothing can be as satisfying as living our way, at that level of frequency where everything looks best, in that special shade where everything shines, like a Monet painting.
However, sooner or later we learn that it is not always possible. Free will is just an illusion, and it is so for two reasons: our social context delimits us and also delimits our genetic conditioning.
In the interesting book “Designing Positive Psychology” published by several representatives of positive psychology, it is highlighted that even our culture tells us how happy we should be, what life goals we should aspire to and which ones we should change about ourselves to achieve happiness (or rather, a substitute for happiness). So, even if we sometimes have the idea that we are completely free to plan our life, it is little more than a mistake. Why not, we are not always.
For example, there is the world of advertising, which convinces us that we should buy the latest model of a mobile phone brand to feel satisfied, there is that model of male and female beauty that we all should aspire to in order to be considered attractive. and be successful… With all of this we can certainly see that our psychosocial context influences us almost decisively on how we should live our life.
On the other hand, another aspect that has been inculcated in our culture is the classic idea that happiness equals emotional comfort. Dimensions such as sadness, anger, frustration, failure or disappointment must hide or flee just as physical pain subsides with an analgesic. It doesn't matter to know their origin, better stick to silence them, look the other way as if they weren't there.
But they are there. Negative emotions are part of being human and any mammal for a reason. These dimensions are processed in the limbic system to help us survive, live better ...
"And now that you know you don't have to be perfect, start being good"
-John Steinbeck-
The mastery of building a meaningful life
We already know that we are not truly free to just live our own way. There are limits, obligations and codes to be respected. However, beyond these inevitable principles that mark our coexistence as social beings, we must open our eyes well to get rid of those knots that we do not need, that do not help, that take away movement and personal freedom.
Many of these knots originate, as we know, from our culture, from our families, from our social relationships, even the weight of a strongly patriarchal society in many aspects still rusty. We must, therefore, intuit them and leave these uncomfortable bonds that put fences on our personal growth.
To find a meaning that we will need to lead a fuller existence, it is also essential to understand an aspect. We know that today the approach that invites us to be more present, to appreciate the here and now, has a lot of weight. However, it is also necessary take a step further and ask ourselves: what do I want for tomorrow? How do I want to see myself in the near future?
The answer we give ourselves will give meaning to our present, it will show us paths, it will give us enthusiasm and motivation. Only then will we be better story weavers and dream builders in line with our life goals.
