Last update: June 22, 2018
A marriage becomes toxic when at least one member of the couple suffers more than he is happy. Malaise becomes routine and a healthy emotional connection is impossible. The line between a toxic and a problematic marriage is very thin. For this reason, we must pay attention to the signs that indicate toxicity.
Emotional dependence, possessive behavior, jealousy, manipulation, or frequent arguments are indicators that the relationship is not going well. Furthermore, these behaviors are a sign of inequality between the two partners. One conquers ground and exercises control, the other remains in the shadows and can be manipulated.
A healthy couple relationship brings pleasure, happiness and well-being. In a toxic marriage, however, one or both parties feel unhappy, sad, or anxious most of the time they spend with the other person. This suffering causes serious emotional strain both in the couple and in the family nucleus. Let's see what are the most common signs of a toxic marriage.
“They made us believe that each of us is half of an apple, that life only makes sense when we can find the other half. They did not tell us that we are born whole, that nobody in our life deserves to carry on their shoulders the responsibility of completing what we lack ".
-John Lennon-
Emotional addiction creates toxic bonds
Emotional dependence is a psychological trap that links the possibility of being happy to the bond with another person.
Addicted people recognize the mistreatment and contempt they suffer every day, but they can't stop depending on their partner. They apologize even for things they have not done, they are obedient and attentive to every detail so that the partner feels comfortable, even if it means undermining their own well-being. They seek the approval and affection of others.
At the base of the emotional dependence there may be a low self-esteem that leads the subject to not feel up to the partner. These people are extremely critical of themselves and feel guilty for their partner's contempt. They don't know that such contempt is directly proportional to their submissive attitude.
The addicted person continually returns to the toxic bond, just as the addict consumes the drug again. With each relapse, the situation worsens because contempt in the couple grows and the dignity and self-esteem of the dependent person decreases.
There is no love capable of filling the emptiness of a person who does not love himself.
Signs to recognize a toxic marriage
Love and dependence are incompatible, if they coexist they end up destroying each other. If it happens, even if the relationship continues, love will fade until it becomes a need to feel good, to be happy. This will lead to trampling the limits of respect and an obsessive control will ensue which, together with the need approval, will dominate the relationship.
Disturbing emotions and toxic relationships have been identified as risk factors for some diseases.
In love it is normal to argue. There is nothing wrong with having different opinions and expressing them. The problem arises when discussions become routine and limits cease to exist. Here are the seven signs for recognizing a toxic marriage:
- There is no mutual respect.
- One member of the couple dominates the other.
- There is no effort to make the partner happy.
- Being in love is confused with obsession.
- You blame your spouse for all of them or you always feel guilty.
- The partner's behavior is always justified.
- The discussions are constant.
All of these signs create an atmosphere of malaise that prevents you from maintaining a healthy relationship. They are not good for anyone, quite the opposite, so much so that they can become pathological. Because of this why it is important to learn to be emotionally independent so as to be happy without another person and proponents of well-being in any relationship.
Addiction chains and manipulates, independence offers wings to fly. We try to take care of ourselves and love ourselves to create quality bonds.
"You cannot depend on anyone to be happy, no relationship will give you the peace that you have not already formed within you."
