Last update: June 13, 2016
The past can weigh on us and cause us suffering every time we think about it. Constantly looking back or living constantly remembering past events without learning from them condemns us to reproach, guilt and criticism, without allowing us to move forward.
Perhaps, in the past, someone has hurt or disappointed you, perhaps things did not go as you hoped. An unspoken word, an error that we do not accept or a behavior that we did not expect can build chains that surround us, making us prisoners of the situation.
“The past is a bucket full of ash. Live neither in yesterday nor in tomorrow, but live in the here and now ”.
(Carl Sandburg)
The past and its chains
There are people whose lives are anchored to a success or a sad experience from the past. They live as if that moment had never ended and infect their whole present with it, constantly remembering the events that have taken place.
Living with the past in mind does not repair or soothe our feelings; it simply transports us to that distant moment, impregnating and infecting us with all its sensations. Whether it is a positive or a negative memory, we cannot depend on it, because, by doing so, we are deceiving ourselves. Staying in the past blocks our growth and annihilates the possibilities for change.
If we settle down on the sofa of "I've already tried once and it didn't work", "love has given me more pain than joy", "trusting people is useless, because everyone uses you for personal gain" , we will remain in the waiting room of our life as if we were mere witnesses and not the protagonists of what is happening.
“The past, for better or for worse, has already had its moment. It will not end just because we think about it, nor will it resolve if we try to escape it. If we tackle it, however, we will be able to build a new attitude and a new path ”.
Break the shackles of the past
Every experience or situation is seen through the eyes of the past and given a certain meaning. Our previous episodes mark our present and our future, this is inevitable.
However, everything depends on our relationship with the past: it can be conditioned by chains that surround us or by a springboard that pushes us forward thanks to the teachings.
If you use the past as a couch and settle down on problems, you may be anchored to your attempts at success gone wrong or to the open wounds of your relationships, and this because of the chains that bind you. Even if the past is marked by success, you cannot think of proposing the same formulas to life forever.
If instead, you will use the past as a stimulating teacher with which to learn from your mistakes and virtues, you will be able to develop your full potential. The past can hurt and try to grab us, we can get muddy in it, run away or learn from its lessons. After all, we choose.
- If you stay in the past, you will deceive yourself and build rigid chains that will impede your growth, condemning you with guilt, criticism and contempt.
- If you run away from your experiences, you will create a void that will be filled with fears and insecurities.
- If you decide to learn from the past, you will have to deal with it first, and then you can squeeze the most out of each of the lessons it gives you. You will break the chains and produce the impulses needed to keep moving forward.
Build the stepping stone to your dreams
The stepping stone to your dreams is built by facing the past with the willingness to learn from it. Instead of complaining, scolding, feeling guilty or resenting your last relationship, your failed attempts, or the disappointment of a friend, think about what you can learn from all of this.
These things, on reading them, seem so simple, but they contain a whole context of awareness and desire to grow that is very complex and that is combined with the commitment not to remain asleep on the surface of experiences.
Do you want to know how managing your experiences can help you in everyday life and how it is related to building a trampoline that will make you get everything you want? It's very simple: your personal growth is totally connected to the relationship between your past and your daily life.
Think about it: if you learn how to behave with the people around you, in the workplace and understand how to manage emotions thanks to the experiences of the past, you can more efficiently concentrate all your energies in obtaining what you want, thus building your own springboard.
If, on the other hand, you cling to what you already know or have already experienced, you will feed a danger. The comfort of the sofa, of the clear and well-known things, of your comfort zone is incredibly welcoming and quiet and, even if it sometimes tingles you with a bit of pain, what really frightens you is the risk that that leap into the world entails. empty ... But how can you ever grow and learn like this?
The past can serve as a couch to complain or a springboard to bring you closer to your dreams. The choice is in your head.
