Last update: May 08, 2015
Behind the anger lies a certain degree of frustration. We get irritated because we feel unable to control a situation and / or even a person. This is clear. It must be said, however, that absolutely everyone is in a bad mood from time to time; small outbursts of anger can be healthy when they are caused by a valid reason.
However, what happens when the anger doesn't run out, when we are pouting, frowning, and looking for a few quarrels most of the time? In these cases do you belong to the group of "grumpy by nature" or is there something else?
The answer is only one: behind the frequent anger there is more than a passing frustration, what is hidden is a hidden depression.
Chronic anger
Sometimes the mood is not momentary, but lasts for weeks, months or even years. Sometimes sudden fits of anger are not unusual, but serenity. Anger begins to transform into the "normal" way of dealing with life. Everything annoys you, you are intractable and losing your temper is the predominant note.
In this case, anger is not directed against a particular person or situation, it is simply perceived all the time and experienced as intolerance, annoyance, hatred.
In turn, it is expressed by means of classic attitudes: shouting, being in constant motion and tense, always having at hand a comment of self-offense or criticism for others. Physically it manifests itself as a permanent pout, digestive problems and, in most cases, difficulty sleeping.
If that's the case, chances are you're not mad at the world: in fact, you are angry with yourself.
The reasons that led you to internally antagonize your ego certainly have to do with the mental models you use unconsciously. There are some parameters that you have chosen to judge yourself and, without really knowing why, they only serve to scold yourself constantly. Furthermore, there are probably some unresolved past experiences. Because of this, you get angry, but you don't know it.
The fire and the flame
It is not the case here to analyze all the possible reasons why you have decided to become your worst enemy. They are found deep inside your mind, in the most remote aspects of your history. However, at least it is possible to ask why these reasons are so influential on your life.
Forget others, they will never behave as you would like or how you think they should behave. The others are just an excuse you used to express your anger. It is not their mistakes, nor the economic crisis, nor the war tensions in Korea that irritate you.
Simply you have an idea of ​​"must be" that you cannot achieve. This makes you feel terribly bad, not only do you judge yourself severely, but you blame yourself and torment yourself. Paradoxically, your gigantic ego does not leave you the opportunity to understand and forgive yourself.
Anger is like an internal fire that burns. An element capable of giving heat or razing what you encounter along your path to the ground. This indefinite anger is also an internal force that you have not been able to appropriate. It can be the engine of great actions, but also the ember in which the best moments of your life are consumed.
The real cause of this condition are unresolved situations with yourself, not with others. You have to solve them and you will probably need help to do it. What are you waiting for?
Image courtesy of Rodrigo Carmona.
