Last update: July 09, 2016
We all know well that one day we will die. However, thinking about the end of our life can trigger a feeling of real terror for many people. Often, people who find themselves next to someone who is dying begin to feel anxious and in deep pain. On the other hand, death and the fear it arouses are for many the main reason why religions have survived throughout history.
Sometimes it is such a harsh reality that many people prefer to move away from it. But does this have anything to do with feeling that our end is also near? In other words, with the fear we feel at the thought that that day will come for us too or when we see in someone dying a reflection of our death? The fact is that death reminds us that we are vulnerable and finite, it reveals to our ego, as we know it, regardless of whether it can change or not, that sooner or later it will disappear.
However, some people exaggerate this feeling to the point of developing a real phobia towards death, of becoming completely intolerant to everything that has to do with the world of death, then the fear turns into irrational panic.
One of the sources of confusion is the fact that the fear of death somehow keeps us constantly on the alert and prevents us from exposing ourselves to dangerous situations. However, when this fear gets extreme and turns into a phobia, it can be really crippling. This is why we talk about paradox, in fact the fear of death at the same time prevents us from living.
The fear of death can raise other fears, such as the fear of pain, of the dark, of unknown things, of suffering, of nothingness ... Feelings that the imagination, traditions, legends have transmitted from father to son and that end up tormenting us , preventing us from living our life to the full.
On the other hand, the death of a loved one, in addition to reminding us that we are fragile beings, is accompanied by feelings of loss that undermine our cognitive defenses and make us more vulnerable to obsessive negative thoughts..
As for the origin of this fear, many experts believe that it depends on the fact that we have been taught to have it. How? One of the ways we learn has to do with imitating what others are doing. For example, if we see someone quickly remove their hand from a certain place, then we immediately think that there is some form of danger and we will remember it, so we will never reach out. Typically, if we see someone being afraid of something and we don't have much information about it, then we automatically think there is something to be afraid of..
When fear has not yet become a phobia and it is simply a form of reaction, not disabling and that does not affect us in any way, some strategies to keep it under control are:
- Accept the idea. Death exists and this cannot be changed. Change what you do up to that point.
- Firmly believe in something. Regardless of whether it is true or not, faith often has great power in changing feelings.
- Focus attention on something else. Do not allow your consciousness to engage in this fear or this thought. You can do this mentally, for example by planning what you will do next day, or in terms of behavior, for example by calling your husband or wife to ask him / her how the day is going.
If this thought begins to generate in you a great discomfort, the thoughts become more and more recurrent and fear affects your life, then it is the case to consult a specialist.. In this sense, researchers Mercedes Borda Mas, M.ª Ángeles Pérez San Gregorio and M.ª Luisa Avargues Navarro, of the University of Seville, have published an interesting study on the subject in which the application and evaluation of a cognitive-behavioral treatment in which activation control techniques, exposure techniques (imaginary and life exposure and imaginary flooding) were used, as well as cognitive restructuring techniques.
