Last update: April 04, 2015
I would like to tell you how I feel - a patient told me. - I am confused, for years I lived with an exceptional person, it was the breath of fresh air in moments of asphyxiation, it was the breath of heat in the cold reality. We had many things in common: we laughed at the evidence, we wanted to discuss constructively, we were curious and creative, but above all we shared the desire to spend most of our time together.
Surprised by my partner's praise, I told the patient that he should feel proud of having these kinds of feelings. However, he said:
- A few weeks ago I realized that something has changed. Laughing was no longer so fun, the distance became more and more marked and the invitations to do this or that became unpleasant. I thought my life would collapse, I asked myself: "What am I going to do?", "Am I destroying myself?" It didn't happen, I feel a great emptiness inside, but I'm alive. What happened?
I tried to reflect in order to express as coherently as possible a message that would bring to light this condition of ambiguity on which I was asked for an opinion.
The love-disaffection dichotomy has reappeared: what was close before became more distant.
On many occasions, we seek support from others without realizing that if we relied more on ourselves, we would find sufficient strength to face the challenges we choose or present in life. We fill our lives with different agents to whom we attribute everything we lack, such as imagination, sagacity, etc., and put them on a pedestal until, at any moment, we realize that that person is not. so fun, not as creative, not as enjoyable as we thought. Our ideal collapses, admiration becomes ignorance, presence of the other person, previously necessary, becomes easily replaceable and annoying.
Many times this triggers a strong sense of guilt in us. Disappointment becomes heavy and we are afraid of the consequences of our decisions, we let ourselves be overwhelmed by doubts and we postpone choices, ignoring the fact that this attitude only increases anxiety and restlessness..
But the human being is a survivor and has the ability to be reborn as the phoenix. Reinvent yourself in other circumstances, with other desires. The important thing is to close the chapters, the difficulty lies in understanding when and how to do it. Obviously one hopes to learn from experiences, the difficulty lies in relying on one's self-esteem and overcoming one's fears.
