Many people voluntarily give up having a partner, often out of laziness. In the following lines we explain the possible reasons.
Last update: July 20, 2022
If you have been single for a long time, it is common to receive pressure: “Haven't you found anyone yet?”, “When do you decide to start a family?”, “Don't you settle down?”, “Watch as time goes by…”. If despite these external pressures, the idea of ​​dating a person provokes rejection, you are not in mourning or expecting the right person, you just don't want to have a partner.
It is normal to feel not only confused, but also judged because it seems that the search for a soul mate is mandatory. People around us may insist on introducing us to someone, creating a profile on a dating site, or trying to introduce us to new people.
The person may even wonder if there is something wrong with them. If this is your case, there you are we invite you to explore some possible explanations.
Reasons why you don't want to have a partner
While life as a couple is socially desirable, actually being single has several positive aspects. Perhaps many of these motivate to maintain the current sentimental state.
Freedom and autonomy
In the absence of a partner, decisions can be made in total autonomy. There will be no occasions when your own desires will be incompatible or inconsistent with those of the other person.
Of course, in healthy relationships, no one should lose their freedom. In the same way, however, it is also necessary to know how to make concessions in favor of the union, indirectly of the other.
You don't want to have a partner to keep your independence
Especially as a result of relationships in which the partner wanted to control, not having to explain is a highly valued condition. If you are with friends and you want to spend more time with them, you can do it easily.
Being single allows us not to have to account for where we go, what we go with, with whom or why we perform certain actions. Likewise, there is no responsibility for an emotional commitment.
Not wanting a partner: downsides
Although some people voluntarily decide to remain single, in other cases rejection in the form of a desire warrant it's just a mask.
Insecurity and low self-esteem
Building healthy bonds is tricky when we think we're worthless. Healthy couple relationships are generally symmetrical. If one of the two thinks he cannot offer anything, it is unlikely the relationship will remain strong.
This is because the person will feel that he has a growing debt towards the partner or because an emotional dependence will develop that will eventually suffocate the bond.
When self-esteem falters, the idea of ​​looking for a partner can cause outright dizziness. In these cases it is extremely difficult to share one's feelings, since rejection is expected due to low self-esteem. Such an expectation can convince the person that it is better not to try.
Emotional blocks derived from past experiences
Traumatic, painful and harmful relationships? Bonds marked by uncertainty and questions that have made us empty? Emotional blocks are a possible consequence of this.
In these cases it is common internalize the idea that a relationship is synonymous with constant sacrifice, suffering and self-denial. You don't want a partner so as not to fall into such a scenario, much less if you have achieved a certain independence and happiness.
Fear of commitment
If you don't want to have a partner, perhaps the motivation lies in the fear of unidentified commitment. This manifests itself as fear of being trapped in the relationship as it lacks freedom and autonomy; it also manifests itself as a fear of making the wrong decision, increasing one's vulnerability by becoming intimate with another person.
Conclusions
We can choose not to have a partner. it is our right and there may be several reasons behind such a choice.
However, it is also possible that this is due to personal or emotional conflicts that need to be resolved and that this reluctance is just the carpet under which suffering is hidden. In light of this, it is worthwhile to reflect and seek professional help if necessary.
