Last update: July 27, 2015
Resentment is a negative emotion that does not allow us to forget a situation that has occurred in which we have felt hurt. Because of the pain that this situation has caused us, we want to return the "favor" to those who caused it, waiting for the best moment to act. For this, the grudge only makes us feel bad for a long time.
Why do we prolong our malaise?
Resentment is actually an unresolved emotion, due to a situation that made us feel bad and that we have not faced, but that we have temporarily silenced, prolonging our malaise indefinitely.
The resentment remains, and with this also the suffering, because we feel resentment in the depths that does not allow us to solve the problem, but on the contrary, makes us keep our pain.
What is resentment?
Resentment is what precedes resentment. It is an emotion of pain and anger with respect to a situation experienced or towards a person who made us feel bad.
Bringing resentment means not having forgotten what happened, and therefore, being left with the pain and anger, as if the situation had just happened.
What are the consequences of resentment?
Resentment prevents us from living in the present, it makes us always carry the weight of what happened, as well as the presence of the emotions generated, such as pain, anger, sadness and resentment.
Resentment is a load that does not allow us to move forward, that makes us reject situations of the present, due to the memory of the pain of a certain situation, so we will always be unable to enjoy the present moment.
What happens when you hold a grudge
Resentment does not allow us to turn the page, because we are waiting for the best time to "return the pain". The attitudes of people who bear a grudge revolve around the intention to restore balance by making the responsible person pay for what happened.
It is an emotion that fosters revenge, hostility and aggression, as well as hatred of the person responsible for the suffering and harm inflicted.
Who suffers from resentment?
It is important to be aware that the only person who suffers is the same person who carries a grudge and that, both this feeling and the resentment, do nothing but prolong the suffering, without resolving it.
Is revenge the solution to resentment?
The truth is that time takes us away from that lived situation and from the person who made us live and the most likely thing is that we never resolve our resentment.
And even if the possibility of revenge existed, this will never be the solution to the accumulated pain, since the consequences or conflicts following the restitution of the damage suffered will never make us feel better. Because the pain of others cannot ease our pain. Revenge is not the path to the solution of our suffering.
How to get rid of resentment and resentment?
In the first place, the most convenient thing would be to resolve the situation when it occurs, to express ourselves and make ourselves respected in the moment. If we act in this way, we will not feel resentment, because we will have faced the situation and, therefore, there will be no resentment, nor all that this entails.
If you already live with resentment and resentment, the best way to get rid of it will be to accept what happened and respect the behavior of the other person responsible for the unpleasant situation.
After that, you can decide what relationship to maintain with that person, since respecting does not mean sharing his way of acting, and therefore, you do not have to live a similar situation again.
In this way you will stop suffering, you will free yourself from an unnecessary burden, which will not make you live the present in a happy way.
