Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
To teach the beauty of life, no shouts are needed, bad words or harsh attitudes. There is no need to suffer to find out what happiness tastes like; if so, happiness would appear as an unattainable star.
If your childhood was marked by an authoritarian and severe upbringing, you will know for yourself that, far from obtaining positive results, too harsh methods often leave the imprint of numerous affective deficiencies, insufficient affection and lack of recognition in the soul.
The art of education is woven through the affection, emotions and acute wisdom of those who understand that teaching means learning twice, and that learning must always be a pleasure.
There are those who believe that the best learning comes from suffering. In reality, it is a rather extreme idea that cannot be applied lightly. Having suffered certainly teaches us the value of certain aspects, allows us to discover strategies and often directs us on the right path to take.
Well, albeit in life learning comes from time and experience, the possibility of starting from a solid and secure foundation such as a happy childhood - during which learning to build strong and lasting bonds - will mean being halfway there. Teaching is not just about transferring knowledge and rules. To teach, there is no need to suffer or to receive screams or reproaches: teaching means educating to emotions to be strong in life.
Teaching is the art of igniting curiosity
It seems obvious that no one can know the recipe for giving their children authentic and lasting happiness. Well, one thing not to forget is that to educate, one must understand, intuit and above all “build”.
Happiness, respect and cheerfulness are also keys to learning about life, as they teach us to be strong, help us understand what is worth fighting for, and above all, what is worth keeping in mind. life.
Anyone who has not known happiness in his childhood can only look at life with distrust and fear. During the first years of life, suffering teaches nothing: it rather limits the correct development of the child. Don't forget it.
- Growing up in fear will lead to living under high levels of stress and anxiety. The excesses of cortisol in the brain prevent the body from developing correctly, hindering the optimization of learning.
- Learning acquired through severe methods leaves no traces, but scars indelible in the soul. Each negative emotion that the child internalizes in his own mind and heart will lead to a lack and a wound in the adult of tomorrow.
- To teach, it is not necessary to impose, it is not necessary to raise one's voice or prohibit: what is needed is the ability to ignite curiosity. Paulo Freire said that teaching is not about transferring knowledge, but about creating the possibilities to produce and build knowledge. And this can only be achieved by putting into action an adequate Emotional Intelligence, through respect and sincere affection to always be given to the child.
To teach, it is necessary to educate the heart
We often strive to teach children concepts that they could study on their own through books or on the Internet, and which are likely to be of no use in the future. Efforts should be focused on teaching them to love, to be free, to reflect, to know themselves.
It will be of little use to educate children in mathematics and geography, if you do not first take care of their happiness, of the importance of learning what empathy is or how to manage moments of anger and sadness.
While it is much easier to teach a child the times tables than it is to develop his self-esteem, we should all be committed to doing this through strategies such as:
- Always promote democratic education at home, where dialogue and communication are possible, and that it is based on some rules that the child can understand clearly. It is not just a matter of imposing, but of making it clear that in the home, just like in society or in everyone's life, there are limits and responsibilities.
- Always keep that in mind the first years of a child's life will take root on his way of understanding the world in the future. Through cries, fear, feeling misunderstood, the child will turn into an adult who will try to constantly "defend" himself from the world.
- Respect the emotional language of your children, understand how they deal with anger, sadness, how they react in front of the rest of the people. Provide them with an environment based on trust, where there are no arbitrary sanctions, jokes or irony.
When you educate, always keep in mind the joy of living, use positive reinforcement and approach your children as someone who knows how to understand, protect and at the same time nurture independence, maturity and happiness.
