Last update: 19 November 2016
The myth of romantic love has come to life thanks to the stories, cinema or literature that trace the outline of a platonic world often far from reality. Obviously it would be a mistake to think that it is completely false since, if we think deeply about this concept, our heart will confirm to us that honest love exists.
We have all lived a true love at least once or, at least, we have surrendered to it by wanting to fully embrace this experience. For this reason, we have performed actions full of romanticism in the name of this commitment and as a corollary of that seduction necessary to conquer the person we want.
On the other hand, it is no less true that under the label of romantic love ideas that are not entirely true and that can also be negative for our soul, could develop a dependence between lovers or excessive devotion. Today we reveal the 2 false ideas about love.
"We learn to love not when we meet the perfect person, but when we see an imperfect person perfect."
-Sam Keen-
False legends about romantic love
From an early age they push us to develop a vision of reality where the main concept is that of "romantic ideal" or a series of stereotypes that the perfect couple must adhere to. Ideas such as understanding, a sense of humor, good communication and respect. Surely being able to enjoy all these experiences and situations is healthy for our ego. It brings us closer to discovering what we actually want and what we are not prepared to accept.
The downside of these idealizations is that we get too carried away by the idea of ​​this kind of romantic love, forgetting that we are dealing with a curved mold and that reality and people always have their own artist. A model that, as we have said, comes from children's stories and that is perpetuated by the cinema and sold off in advertisements.
However, among the conditions of this message it is said that we all lie, because growing up in immaculate truth is no less toxic than living a lie perpetually. That there are people with defects that go beyond social conventions, but who still deserve sweetness and love. They say that time and conditions change and that the only "forever" is the present we are experiencing. All these are secondary conditions that we do not read, which we ignore due to the difficulties they entail.
Love is forever
Falling in love does not imply believing that that love will last forever. It implies that our feelings are of great intensity and that with the strength of that illusion we can imagine a future together. A tomorrow in which that illusion is constant, so in those moments it is difficult to believe that it can have an end.
So we walk like giants, without paying attention, and we abandon the shield to allow ourselves to be surrounded by the feeling of security that falling in love gives us. Barriers are no longer necessary because at that moment we feel very strong.
Faced with the idea of ​​"forever", love is something to be healed and built on a daily basis. In a feeling that in its development is not lacking in difficulties, transformations and adjustments. This is the effort it asks of us, and it is also its positive side if we know how to respond and it is no less beautiful than what idealized love promises.
For this, a piece of advice we can give you is to never force yourself to believe that your current relationship should last forever. You are solely responsible for your happiness. People evolve and change, as do emotions and sensations.
One task that can help you reaffirm your bond with the person you love is to make compromises. We are not talking about compromise, but compromises, in the plural. It is not a question of ensuring that feelings will not change, but of making a practical commitment to ensure that this feeling is never lacking in affection and attention.
Finally, don't forget that you have already lived without your partner and that if they leave you, you can live alone again. This does not make the person you love less important, but it prevents you from developing an addiction to them and to which you can end up being a slave.
Giving up everything for love
It is, without a doubt, a classic negative ideal of romantic love. At this point it should be emphasized that the most damaged figure is generally the woman. According to the stereotype, it is she who must be able to give up everything for him. Set it all aside for your partner.
Healthy love grows when both sides invest in the compromise they have signed. In a healthy relationship, the search for balance is essential, conceding both in a balanced way and always respecting the independence and individuality of the other. Generally these are couples in which love comes from trust and respect, from teamwork and does not repress the identity of the other.
We can confirm, at this point, that romantic love hides, as it is considered in today's society, negative and unhealthy couples. It must be remembered that true and healthy love is that feeling that does not dominate or set barriers. This will help you to live fully every day with your partner. This is just magical love, imperfect perfection, and nothing else.
"Thinking of my happiness, I remembered you"
-Anonymous-
