Acceptance and resignation may seem like two similar concepts, but they are not. Their meanings have very different connotations: understanding it can help us get to know each other better.
Last update: February 03, 2021
There are concepts whose meanings are so similar that they are often confused. Acceptance and resignation are an example, but the differences between the two are substantial. Why do we use them interchangeably?
Both words indicate the adoption of a new perspective regarding the perception of control over the environment. It is not just about practical aspects, but also about ideas, expectations, mental schemes, etc.
These two dimensions they alter our perceptions of what is still under our control (or which could be) and what is not. It is precisely this different perception that distinguishes the act of accepting and resigning oneself.
Why is it important to distinguish between accepting and resigning?
Distinguishing between acceptance and resignation is not just a style or semantic exercise. Understanding the meaning of these two concepts allows us to more easily identify our attitude or behavior in the face of those life events that ask us to change our perception of control over them.
In psychology, the difference becomes decisive. In many cases, part of the therapeutic process goes through an acceptance exercise. But is it possible that the patient confuses it with resignation? Yes, it happens often. Usually, in fact, it is necessary to explain the difference between the two attitudes: it is part of what we call psychoeducation.
Accepting and resigning: what are the differences?
Will
The first difference concerns the will. Acceptance is a process that is done, to a large extent, in a conscious way. Therapeutic intervention helps to increase the degree of awareness of the nature of the problem, even before working on acceptance.
Resignation, on the other hand, is not a goal of therapy; it happens unconsciously and causes discomfort. Sometimes circumstances lead us to throw in the towel without us noticing.
Role
In the processes of acceptance and resignation, our role changes. In the first case we adopt an active role, in the second passive. When we accept, we initiate a decision-making process aimed at change which affects our emotional state.
When we resign ourselves, we entrust the responsibility for the different perspective to external, circumstantial factors. Resignation usually implies a passive role in change.
Intention
Although it has its own evolutionary logic, resignation does not lead us to suffer less. When we accept, however, we aim to reduce suffering.
Findings
Accepting reality is a result that is achieved when we stop judging. Acceptance does not have to assign us a certain role (for example that of the victim). Suspending judgment is the hardest part of the process.
When we resign ourselves, however, we tend to become our most severe judge. We decide if what is happening to us is more or less right, if the change is more or less appropriate.
Accept and resign as part of our life
Sport is part of life and is often even a reflection of it. Sport allows us to live meaningful and contextual experiences such as defeat, loss, success, frustration or euphoria. This representation of life clearly shows us the difference between the two dimensions.
Imagine playing a team sport, such as football or basketball. You are in the middle of a game and, either for the time remaining or for the too many goals or points suffered, you know that it will be impossible to overturn the final result. Imagine that the stakes are important (it is the final of a tournament, the decisive match that takes you to the national championship).
In this situation, the exercise of acceptance passes through the decision to continue playing with equal momentum, with the desire to score a goal or make a basket. It is a question of dignity, of sporting spirit, of respect for the team or for ourselves.
Resigning yourself, on the other hand, leads to a different result: playing without conviction, having an indifferent or not very concentrated attitude.
Acceptance is not an easy exercise, but life prepares us to practice it. A person with a chronic illness, for example, will have to go through a necessary path of acceptance, although it will not always be regular or stable. Acceptance itself is subject to ups and downs.
Distinguishing acceptance from resignation is an interesting exercise because, like any other, we do it more easily over time. And this learning is closely related to our happiness.
