If at some point in your life you find yourself wondering if you have wasted your time, perhaps it is time to follow the advice in this article. They will help you find happiness again.
Last update: 14 September, 2020
Sometimes the years go by without us noticing. Work, daily routine, worries prevent us from reflecting on who we are and how we are. At a certain point, however, tired of living in these automatisms, we ask ourselves questions such as: "Did I get what I wanted or am I wasting my life?" or "Am I where I wanted to be?". Here these questions begin to continually crowd our mind.
If you've found yourself in this situation, don't worry. It is very common, more than you might think. We all have gone through a similar period at a particular time in life.
While asking these questions might be scary at first, we can use this opportunity to do a healthy introspection and discover positive aspects that will lead to personal growth.
From this time of crisis they can emerge new impulses capable of redirecting existence towards greater awareness and optimism.
“I am not the container of life. I am the life. I am awareness. I am the now. I am."
-Eckhart Tolle-
How to know if I am wasting my life?
When a person asks himself this question, the sensation he may experience is described as a kind of abyss that opens up within himself. It is not uncommon to look at one's life in retrospect with the aim of finding a balance between one's achievements and one's failures.
This can lead to awakening a multitude of feelings and emotions. Perhaps because they have been sidelined for a long time or perhaps because they have been repressed for a long time. The important thing is to know them, reflect on their origin and express them. In some ways, this process helps us understand who we are and free ourselves from the burdens that block us.
Asking these questions has the consequence the beginning of a long mental and emotional journey through the aspects of life we ​​attach importance to, one after the other. Among these we identify:
The work of life
“Do I like my job?”, “What prospects do they offer me?”, “Will I work here forever?”, “Have I wasted my life doing this job?”.
These questions usually don't have an easy answer. Working is essential to live, so it is a reality from which it is difficult to escape. It is not possible to control all circumstances related to work and the attitude with which we deal with these situations varies from person to person.
Since it is not recommended to make happiness depend on the type of employment, many psychologists advise to approach these questions with a "light" emotional state, especially if the person perceives discomfort or harbor negative emotions.
"Talent wins games, but teamwork and intelligence win championships."
-Michael Jordan-
It is important to be aware that you should not force anyone to be who they do not want to be. For this reason, if you find yourself in this condition, you can rethink your work situation and look for new job opportunities.
When work brings more disappointment than satisfaction, it may be time to look for new possibilities and thus avoid accumulating discomfort. It is also true that this is sometimes not possible.
Life is made up of moments and you have to learn to make the most of all the moments that make it up. For example, if you are always away from home because of work, when you return you must try to live unforgettable moments. This will keep your ability to enjoy life intact.
The family
"Have I wasted my family life?" This could be another of the big questions crowding into the head. The good thing is that we can give a different answer every time.
If you don't give this question a negative interpretation, you can take it as a starting point to have a more positive outlook on family life. One answer could be: “Yes, maybe so far I have taken time away from my family life, so it's time to catch up! "
Nobody chooses their family. Nonetheless, it's important to be grateful for your family, even for just having them. Remember that not everyone has this luck.
Maybe it's been a while and you've distanced yourself from your family members or you don't have the relationships you want. In any case, what prevents you from establishing the family relationship you have long desired?
The past, if you want to see it this way, is nothing more than a fantasy of memory. It must not hinder you and prevent you from acting in the present to regain ties with the family. If you have to forgive, do it; if you need to be forgiven, you have a right to be forgiven.
In summary, it is good to think that the family represents our origins, our roots, that group of people with whom we have a lot in common. This vision will fuel the desire not to neglect it.
Children
Some people have other priorities. For others, however, having children seems to be the mission of life. In any case, it is advisable to reflect when you are calm and to take some distance from what happens to you. Thinking when you are calm leads to positive conclusions.
"A wise father is he who knows his son"
-William Shakespeare-
If you have a huge concern about your children's education or their future, the question to ask is: "Is there anything that forces us to be so worried?" There is the possibility of find new strategies to reduce this concern and solve things in another way.
To avoid getting the same results over and over, sometimes the best thing to do is to approach situations differently. Always following the same path, you always reach the same destination.
Friends
Years go by, it's normal. Some are no longer part of our life and others are about to get to know them. This happens especially if you change city or country.
You might feel like you have fewer and fewer friends. When this happens, we have two choices: keep the circle of friends (although it may be thought that they are no longer united) or open up to new friendships without forgetting old ones.
A relatively common mistake is to idealize old friends. This may lead you to believe that they are what they used to be, like when you first met them at school or college. But you can't be sure. Making new friends can offer great emotional health benefits.
Am I wasting my life? The goals achieved
The question we generally ask ourselves is: "Am I wasting my life?" Or, "What have I achieved in my life?". To evaluate the degree of satisfaction with the results achieved, evaluation criteria based on comparison are established.
From this comparison, questions such as: "Did I get everything I wanted from life?" May arise. It is common to have the feeling that the point of maximum realization has already been reached. In fact, there is almost always time for the future and there are many other possibilities to achieve new successes.
An opinion shared by many is that it is never too late to reinvent yourself and get what you want. This statement is not completely misleading. Both the goals we set ourselves and the results we can achieve certainly depend on ourselves.
Am I wasting my life? Reinventing yourself is the solution
What are the resources we have available? What limits do we have every day? These questions allow us to know those factors that could prevent us from achieving our goals and make us aware of the skills we possess to achieve them.
Knowing our skills is important to “lighten us up” and move away from what, rather than helping us, prevents us from achieving the set goals. Learn from those who enjoy impeccable quality is a good idea to face the path of knowledge and improvement.
“The future rewards those who move forward. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself. I don't have time to complain. I'm just going to move on. ”.
-Barack Obama-
The past years, many or few, are made of experiences and memories that build our tower of wisdom. There you can find the "material" to create a better version of yourself.
"Am I wasting my life?". Maybe, and just maybe, the answer is only a matter of time. It is possible that by reexamining your goals and identifying what you have left unfinished, you will be able to resume the path towards the goals you had set for yourself.
What detracts from the quality of your days does not deserve your attention. On the contrary, what enhances them must be taken into consideration. We need to act and keep learning. It is when we question ourselves that our decisions come into play. We can assume three attitudes:
- To make decisions.
- Don't take them.
- Deciding not to decide (even if this is ultimately a mind trap).
Which of these three options is intended for the bravest and which for the most cowardly only we can know. As judo master Jigoro Kano said: "The important thing is not to be better than others, but to be better than yesterday".
