An article dedicated to our perennial dissatisfaction and to what is the only real secret to get rid of it permanently (thanks to a "lens").
"Dissatisfaction is the shadow of ambition."
Henry H. Haskins.
THEdissatisfaction personal and work is now becoming a chronic disease in our society. Have you ever tried to think what the causes are?
There is not a day that does not arrive news of the boy who became a millionaire thanks to an app, of the young artist who became a star on YouTube, of the budding footballer who has become a phenomenon. At the same time, however, we face daily crises, unemployment and injustices.
We therefore live in an age in which, in theory, everything is possible, but where, in practice, only a small minority can make their dreams come true. And it is precisely this contrast between the glittering possibilities and an anonymous reality that creates a profound in us sense of dissatisfaction.
How can we get rid of it? Is there a practical way to not always be dissatisfied?
As a good ambitious person, I have often lived (and live) periods of dissatisfaction and, every time, the answer to get out of them is always the same: "lens" method.
André, well everything, but what #?
Keep reading the article: I promise you won't be dissatisfied! ;-)
The 3 phases of dissatisfaction
Before we talk to you about the lens method (and why it is so effective), we need to see together what they are 3 phases of dissatisfaction.
Knowing which stage you are in will help you make the most of this strategy.
If in this moment you feel that something is missing in your life, rest assured that you are going through one of these 3 phases. Let it bet? ;-)
1. The Night
When we have a hard time satisfying ours basic needs, or those that Maslow in his famous pyramid defines physiological and safety needs (health, money, employment, etc.), our dissatisfaction is at the highest levels.
This is the phase of the "Night".
Everything around us is dark and there is only the dim light of the moon to guide us, but in fact we feel lost and unable to overcome our obstacles.
Cause of our dissatisfaction
Worries.
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2. The Fog
"Dissatisfaction is the awareness of not having completed one's path."
Carlo Peparello.
When our basic needs are met, our sense of dissatisfaction subsides, but not for long.
After the "Night" in fact, we risk finding ourselves in the middle of the "Fog”In the morning, confused about which is the right path for us to take.
We are healthy, we manage to put together lunch and dinner, but our life is flat, devoid of stimuli. Neither work nor personal life makes us feel fulfilled. In short, we find ourselves again… dissatisfied.
We are convinced that this life does not belong to us, that our path, the purpose for which we came into the world, is somewhere there, but we are unable to understand where.
Cause of our dissatisfaction
Boredom.
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3. The Day
"Dissatisfaction is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation."
Oscar Wilde.
The third phase is the one in which the sun arrives to illuminate our path: we finally know we are on the right path, we know where we want to go, and yet ... damn that shovel, after a while, the sense of dissatisfaction creeps back into our days.
We are in the phase of "Day".
Things are going well, all too well: we can't keep up with our commitments, we are involved in 1.000 projects, we turn left and right like tops, yet our ambitions seem to drift away rather than get closer.
Cause of our dissatisfaction
The distractions.
An in-depth article
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Curly's law and the secret of life
To conclude our astronomical-meteorological metaphor ...
... of "Night" the light is missing, with the "Fog" the light is bounced by millions of water particles, of "Day" that same light is dispersed in a thousand directions.
Whatever phase we are going through, we still run the risk of finding ourselves dissatisfied. How does it come out?
How to stop feeling dissatisfied: the lens method
I know you are wondering.
The light is none other than ours energy, our caution, our will.
If we really want to get rid of the chronic sense of dissatisfaction, which governs our days, we must learn to focus this "light" in a single point and "burn", one after the other, the obstacles and problems that take us away from our goals.
Just like we did as children by concentrating sunlight on a sheet of paper thanks to a lens.
Whether you are going through the "Night", "Fog" or "Day" phase, the only way to return to living fulfilling days is to CONCENTRATE every single gram of mental resources at your disposal on a single obstacle, project or goal, until you have passed, completed or achieved it.
The lens method in practice: burn dissatisfaction!
This is not the first time that I have advised you to focus your mental energies.
The idea itself is very simple and intuitive, yet, when it comes to putting it into practice, it takes a few days and we go back to being swallowed up by despair of the "Night", from confusion of the "Fog" or from distraction of the day".
Here are 3 practical tips to make this method work best:
- Start small. Sometimes we are so dissatisfied with our life that we just want to change EVERYTHING. And inevitably everything remains as before. Trying to immediately reach too ambitious goals leads us to disperse the dim "light" at our disposal (especially if we are immersed in the darkness of the "Night"). If you really want to become a master of the lens method you must learn to master it in the simplest tasks: (A) Make your bed every morning. (B) Study for a whole tomato without checking the internet or smartphone. (C) Decide what to work on in the next 60 minutes and get that single activity done without distraction.
- Don't make new commitments. Who read Start! he knows well that we tend to overestimate the capabilities of our "future self". This leads us to make too many commitments that we will hardly be able to respect and which consequently can only prove to be yet another source of dissatisfaction. Stop the madness! Applying the lens method also means REFUSING any commitment that does not directly contribute to the achievement of our goals. (This is also true in the “Fog” phase: if your goals are not clear to you it is better to test them thoroughly one at a time rather than chasing 100 at the same time).
"He who chases two hares, he catches neither;
Said Latin.
- Fall in love with emptiness. Especially in the "Day" phase, we are so dazzled by the thousand opportunities that we almost despise the moments of idleness (the true one). Ours, however, resembles a nervous hunger that never makes us satiated. Hence the profound sense of dissatisfaction. We must therefore fall in love with the "emptiness": that is, those moments of absolute relaxation, almost boredom, in which we disconnect from everything and everyone to immerse ourselves in a good story, in the notes of an album or in uncontaminated nature.
