Last update: October 28, 2015
Very often it happens to be bewildered or even disappointed because of the behavior of others. This usually presupposes a before and an after for us, since feeling disregarded is always a hard blow to take.
Sometimes when this happens it can be difficult to concretize or define the reason - or the reasons - why what someone did or said affected us so much. The fact is that one gets the feeling that they have tried to mask their real intentions through words.
The truth is that, from this point of view, the vast majority of people are quite inconsistent; they tend to promise things they don't think, can't, or don't want to accomplish. It may even happen that they do not realize their own inconsistency, and that they simply say what seems to them socially acceptable, without stopping to think if they are really convinced.
It does not define us what we say, but how we behave
In any case, the writings remain, the words fly. This must be understood in the sense that we can say what we want, but always keeping in mind what we really feel, and above all if we can achieve what we promise.
In fact, luckily it's not the words we say that define who we are, because otherwise we would live in a world too idyllic to be true. That is to say, it would be so perfect as to appear fake.
With this we want to emphasize how justifiable and even desirable to make mistakes, as they help to make our relationships more mature and more varied. Uncertainty is therefore not synonymous with chaos.
In any case, even if the world would be rather boring if we were all perfect, it is also true that it is necessary to try to find an intermediate point in which not everything is premeditated, which is only partially so. In this sense, we must strive to be as integral and coherent as possible, taking care not to harm others or to compromise one's authenticity.
Don't be afraid of not knowing others
And what have you learned from so much pain, from so many betrayals? Then I replied: "I have learned to smile always"
Sometimes it seems that he does it on purpose to plagiarize an image of others that ends up tormenting us. Generally, people are not black or white, but are dyed in multiple colors at all times.
When we judge others, we tend to do it too rigidly, and as a result we are disappointed most of the time. Unfortunately, however, we often do not stop to analyze ourselves, making the mistake of believing that our mistakes are less serious, fleeting.
Part of the solution lies in disconnecting from all those expectations that lead us to torture ourselves, expecting from others something that will never happen. Sometimes, in fact, we don't even know what we're expecting, dint of assuming that someone behaves as we would.
We are impulsive beings ...
The truth is, it's not that easy to be consistent knowing that at any moment the will of our emotions could blind us. It is an ever-present possibility that constantly threatens us.
However, let's not deceive ourselves: we will have to work to manage our emotions so that they don't play a trick on us at the worst times.
So that, in any case, in addition to not being defined by our words, perhaps we are not even defined by our behavior. We must learn to give a global value to every situation, so that we are not so easily disappointed by others or ourselves.
There is no need to punish yourself or feel too guilty, instead you must avoid telling stories and building castles in the air. In short, to err is human, but to deceive others is another very different thing that cannot be passed off as a mistake.
The best way to protect ourselves and heal from negative experiences is to get rid of our expectations and the images we have made.
Not all in the world are good and no one is perfect, so our reaction will depend on our ability to evaluate everything we think might affect.
