Last update: October 28, 2015
We've all been through this and it's never easy. We talk about the end of a relationship, when you are the one who is left. These are times when you are inundated with thousands of complex emotions, and for this reason it is important not to do the following:
- To think it was your fault. A relationship is a bond between two people who love and respect each other; if the feelings of one of the two change with respect to what united you in the beginning, no one can take the blame.
- Sorry if he leaves you. The relationship is over for both of us. Surely you too have sent out signs of discrepancy. You have grown accustomed to the other person and the comfort of your routine, to the point of not wanting to change them.
- Think about what your life was like with the other person. Try to rearrange your priorities, your schedules and start all over again. Don't re-read old conversations, stay away from social networks and emails.
- Eliminate memories. It is not necessary to delete everything related to it. Just leave the memories in a corner. Life will show you the right time to review all the old photos, letters and gifts, and to decide what to do with them. Do not do it now that you are in pain, wait until you have overcome the breakup and maybe you will feel the desire to keep some memories. Sometimes the only way to erase memories from your mind is to eliminate the material objects that make them resurface in your mind.
- Watch love movies. For charity! It would be like throwing yourself to the lions. Do not be martyred. You already have enough in your quest to regain strength day after day and get on with your activities. Try to think of new projects, love movies should not be included. You too can be loved, only this time it turned out like that. The "soul mate" exists, even for you.
- Hope to see him / her. Don't walk the streets where you always saw each other and don't have a coffee with friends in his favorite bar. Don't do this kind of thing. And don't even spend time imagining the scene, asking you “What would happen if I saw him… or we met…?”. It wouldn't be natural or healthy if you were the one making it happen.
- If you see him / her, behave normally. If one day you really meet by chance, perfect. Behave naturally. He / she knows you, you have been together for a long time, knows when you are natural. And this is how you got him / her: if your intentions are to get back with him / her, it will be better to let things happen by themselves.
- Your profile picture. This is an important aspect. If he / she also appears in the photo, you need to change it. It is not necessary to do this the moment after you are left, otherwise it would seem that you care too much. You probably won't even look cheerful the first few days. Wait for the right moment and, sooner or later, returning home on a beautiful sunny day, you will feel good ... so go with a selfie! This is the moment. Make a happy face, but don't fake it, change your profile picture and your status. Oops! You didn't really notice.
- Don't change your look every day. Maybe in an attempt to get everyone's attention or his. On the contrary, try to return to what you were before you were with him. Wear that garment that you liked a lot, but that he had suggested you no longer wear. (It has happened to all of us… we stop using so many colors because he is a sober person or we wear fewer necklines because he doesn't like them looking at us so much…).
Definitely, be yourself again. Find your true look, something that reflects your current state of mind and what you aspire to become. Never do the opposite!
- Take away the pain. It will hurt for sure. It is normal to feel pain, if not, it would mean that she has not been a really important person in your life. If you feel sad and downcast, cry. It is important to let out all the sensations that the breakup caused you, in order to start over without negative charges. However, do not prolong this phase too much, it is better to concentrate the release on a few but intense days.
- Depend on the other person. Now stop. Don't wait for me to call you. If you look at your cell phone, it is to see the time, not to check if he has written to you. Don't join the gym or go on a diet to make it more attractive to him / her. It's fine to do this, but for yourself, just for you. From now on, you are the priority.
If a relationship hasn't worked out, the only thing to do is pave the way for you. Give yourself the opportunity to live your life differently and meet new people.
