Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
For andconnect with an introverted person, you have to choose the right moment. It is necessary to approach with sincerity and without artifice, to perhaps discover that she is an excellent conversationalist. We will realize that beneath a sometimes distant appearance lives a person who knows how to listen, who avoids useless chatter, who releases enthusiasm and who knows how to establish strong and loyal bonds.
Taking a little review of the bibliography on introversion, we will realize a curious aspect: è only since 2010 that this type of personality is no longer seen in a negative way, rather its virtues and characteristics full of potential are highlighted. The book Quiet, the power of introverts in a world that can't stop talking is one example.
In this article we will talk about the most useful strategies to connect with an introverted person.
“Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not among the most stimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not. "
-Susan Cain-
In 1935, psychologists Davis and Rulon published a study in which, for the first and only time until the early 2000s, the interests of introverted people were discussed. He didn't define them as disinterest in society, nor were they the exact opposite of extroverted people. They had enough skills to be involved in any society's goals. What distinguished them was the commitment to their ideals and great talents as conversationalists.
The latter figure was harshly criticized at the time. In those years, introversion was associated with pathological shyness in which the person lacks any social skills. Nowadays, this idea has been canceled, especially for a detail that we cannot forget: introversion is not a unitary characteristic. Each of us is positioned on a different point on the line that connects introversion and extroversion.
Let's discover together the secrets to connect with an introverted person.
How to connect with an introverted person?
Introversion is not synonymous with shyness. We also know that the introverted personality has no social deficiencies, no rejection, or any pathological component that makes connection with others difficult. In reality, introverts are defined by a series of behavioral dynamics that go hand in hand with their mental focus, their emotions and even a brain that processes information in a different way.
- They prefer quiet environments. They don't shy away from socializing or meeting large groups of people, yet overly stimulating scenarios exhaust them psychologically.
- They are introspective, observant, imaginative.
- They have few friends, they prefer one close circle of friends with which to establish strong and significant bonds.
- They prefer deep conversations, they don't like gossip or attract attention.
- They pay attention to details.
- They are driven by strong motivation, they are true to their values, they don't need to get along with everyone.
- They have artistic passions: music, writing, drawing ...
Keeping in mind the tastes, behaviors and dynamics that trace this profile, now let's see what are the best strategies to connect with an introverted person.
1. Respect the times and channels of communication
To connect with an introverted person, one must first understand one aspect. His world is based on a different rhythm, calmer, more serene, more cautious. It is necessary to avoid an approach in which one's presence is immediately imposed, starting a monologue that ends by asking for the telephone number. These are three big mistakes.
The idea is to accept the rhythms, the times of the introverted person. An excellent choice is to have a topic of common interest emerge at the time of first contact. You should also know that there are communication channels that introverts tend to avoid: they don't like regular calls, they prefer messages that they can respond to at their own pace, without pressure and without anxiety.
2. An onion with many interesting layers
The introverted person is made up of various layers, like an onion that hides a luminous epicenter. To be able to get there, you must not only respect her times, but also learn to leaf through it layer by layer, a little at a time. To do this, it is necessary to nurture mutual trust.
Only if we are sincere, close, humble and consistent at all times, will we be able to establish a bond of friendship or love with this person.
3. Don't make them feel the center of attention
Don't throw a surprise party for an introverted person. Don't organize her birthday in a room full of guests where she will be the center of attention. Such a situation is ideal for an outgoing personality. With an introverted person, however, we need to create special moments in which everything is simple and spontaneous, with the right people, without pressure or unfamiliar looks, and that doesn't make her feel obligated to do something that makes her uncomfortable.
4. Meaningful conversations
Avoid monologues or superficial dialogues. In these cases, he will treat you politely, but without listening to you. To connect with an introverted person, choose more intelligent and deeper topics. The ideal is undoubtedly to talk about common topics such as books, television series, destinations, projects, similar values ​​that unite you.
5. The pleasure of silence
Sharing silences with a person can give rise to magical moments. Because it is in these moments that trust reigns, that everyone has the opportunity to be themselves, without forcing them in terms of attitudes or conversation. To get in tune with an introverted person, there is nothing better than looking for a quiet environment in which calm prevails, where silence can create a bond between both of you and make complicity grow.
6. Respect the spaces
You don't need to make an appointment every day or call every two hours. There is no need to explain everything you do or don't do. Introverted people need their space to recharge their batteries, to feed themselves, to be themselves in the balance of their solitude, with their tastes and passions. It doesn't mean that they love you less, whether it's as friends or as a partner.
Connecting with an introverted person may be easier than we think. And the result can only be satisfactory. These people are pearls to be discovered and with whom extraordinary bonds can be established.
