Last update: June 25, 2016
To tell a lie or not to tell the truth so as not to hurt another person or to hide the reality: it has happened to all of us. We are afraid of harming someone, we are ashamed of what others might think, and we are reluctant to show our feelings.
However, when we don't tell the truth or tell it all, something inside us twists, reminds us that we are not acting honestly towards ourselves and we feel that something is missing. Perhaps lying is just as wrong as not telling the truth. Sometimes we hide our true age or foreign language level or lie about more important things like our feelings.
“The truth is lived, it is not taught”.
-Hermann Hesse-
Fear of telling the truth
We are often afraid to tell the truth because we fear what others might think. However, this justification can end up drowning us in a reality that is not ours, it can turn us into people we are not.
Honesty is one of those fundamental characteristics to relate to others and it is important to take care of it and respect it, to ensure that it distinguishes us and accompanies us in our every action and word.
We must not forget that fear is an emotion that protects us from a possible dangerous situation, but like all feelings, it can be managed and controlled. Neuroscientists have wondered whether fear is actually a simple defense mechanism that protects us from psychosocial alarms, which prompts us to forget and hide what we actually know to be the truth.
The courage needed to tell the truth
Sometimes, telling the truth is a real act of courage, it means speaking from the heart and saying what we really think, without hiding behind false appearances. Being brave means looking the other person in the eye and telling them that we love them or that we don't love them anymore, to make our souls and our hearts beat in unison in the face of words that arise from the depths of our being.
"The truth is corrupted as much by lies as by silence"
-Marco Tullio Cicero-
When we tell the truth, we undress in front of others, we show ourselves as we are and this can be scary, but it is not possible to hide too long behind false garments, behind invented appearances.
If you are wrong, apologize
In life, we have all made mistakes when, for example, we were trying to protect another person and we decided to hide the truth. However, in one way or another, the truth always ends up coming out and our mistake will also be exposed. In these cases, just apologize and be honest and you will see that you will feel relieved and valued.
Making mistakes is human, it is not done on purpose and the only thing to do in these cases is to learn the lesson and prevent it from happening again. You have to reflect on what happened and be honest with yourself and with others.
The benefits of telling the truth
A study conducted by researchers from the University of Notre Dame in the United States showed that, on average, Americans tell 11 lies every week. During 10 weeks, the study analyzed the responses of 110 people to some specific questions.
Half of the people had been prepared to tell fewer lies and this was the group that, according to psychology professor Anita E. Kelly, saw the greatest improvement in their health. Among the benefits, the researchers noted one reduced tension and, in addition, fewer cases of headaches and sore throats.
Why do we lie
In general, people they lie for three main reasons: to adapt to a hostile environment, to avoid being punished, or to get a prize or win something. Sometimes, for example, there are people who lie about their professional skills to get a job, which means lying to get a reward. Other times, however, people lie when they feel threatened, in order to be accepted.
“The truth exists. The only thing that is invented is a lie ”.
-Georges Braque-
We must not forget that lying is directly linked to our self-esteem. We lie when our ego is threatened or when we want to profit from a situation. In this context, the lie turns into a defense mechanism, in a weapon to survive. However, in all cases it is necessary to make a difference between those who feel guilty and feel remorse and those who, on the other hand, feel nothing and end up believing their deceptions.
The truth always comes out
We must not forget that what we conceal, what we do not say, sooner or later and in one way or another will come to the surface. The truth always finds its way out, to manifest itself, why it is the truth that truly satisfies the soul, makes it nobler and liberates it.
"A person who is not at peace with himself is a person at war with the whole world".
-Mahatma Gandhi-
