Written and verified by the psychologist GetPersonalGrowth.
Last update: 15 November 2021
Dear life, I want to apologize for all the times I took you for granted and didn't make the most of the opportunities you offered me. Now that I have overcome my fears, my shyness and my prejudices, I promise to dance for you until dawn, to love you, to listen to you and to make you laugh until you get a stomach ache, until it leaves you breathless. Because you and I understand each other, because this joy is worth sharing.
Saying these words at some point in our life can lead us to face a phase of profound change or, as the more spiritual people would say, a real "awakening". Nevertheless, we do not always manage to draw out all our resources and strengths to make this very demanding pact with ourselves. To allow us to fully enjoy the days we still have to live.
"The joy of life is always having something to do, someone to love, and something to wait for."
-Thomas Chalmers-
Perhaps this purpose, that of living intensely, until you are out of breath, may have seemed too hedonistic. This vision of life, however, is based on a very simple concept, on which numerous anthropologists, sociologists and positivist psychologists agree. All the actions we carry out correspond to two primary drives: to survive and, if we can, be happy.
Existing, opening our eyes every day, going out on the street and relating to others are dimensions of life that respond to an interrupted process called "attempt-error", from which we can gradually learn to obtain what we so ardently desire: stability, inner calm, well-being and ultimately ... happiness. To achieve this, however, it is necessary to add an ingredient to this recipe: passion.
A life lived with passion: here's the secret!
Humanistic psychology continues to be one of the most important and useful currents of thought in the field of psychological studies. It would be impossible to understand it without two important figures like Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow. It was these scholars who first stated that we are the only masters of our personal fulfillment, it is we who have the task of working day after day for our growth and happiness.
Until then, currents such as Freudian psychoanalysis or even behavioral psychology portrayed us as passive beings, figures unable to influence the surrounding environment. Nothing could be more false, given that, as Rogers himself teaches us, few things can be more important for the human being than perceiving himself as a functional person, able to change his surroundings through four fundamental components: a flexible mindset, the feeling of freedom, self-confidence and openness to experience.
In turn, there are many psychologists who, following this philosophy, have added a further point to what has been called "the purpose of passion". To achieve personal fulfillment positioned on the top of Maslow's pyramid, in fact, we need a fundamental ingredient: passion. Only in this way can we create a significant and positive impact in our life. In this way, we sign a stable and fair deal with ourselves to face adversity and to stave off fear and worries, keeping in mind the boost of motivation and the sparkle of enthusiasm every day.
Those who live life with passion, those who decide to live it full of enthusiasm, without fear or reticence, can understand that everything they do has a “why”. A purpose that satisfies him, that amuses him, that gives him joy.
From today on I will live with enthusiasm, with all of myself, with full lungs
We could say without fear of making a mistake that today's consumer society wants to convince us that happiness is a momentary and fleeting state of mind, almost always associated with free time or the possession of certain products. A nice car, a latest generation mobile phone, certain comforts at home, fashionable clothes, products of famous brands ... But all this gives us only a "disposable" happiness, a feeling of false well-being that creates a real addiction.
Perhaps, instead, we should look at things from a very different, and also much more logical, point of view. We must learn to understand that happiness does not have to be momentary or fleeting. To live the life we ​​want, which we need and which can give us permanent well-being, we must work every day on a series of dimensions that will certainly be very useful to us.
We propose that you reflect on it with us.
Steps to achieve a fuller life
- The purpose of passion. We talked about it before: to be happier every day and be able to achieve permanent and satisfying well-being, we must identify the internal passions that define us, move us and can shape our lifestyle. We must understand that everything we accomplish must leave us satisfied, it must be in tune with our values, our identity and our personal interests.
- Rational thinking. We know that nowadays the sphere of emotions and intuition has a great importance in order to understand our behavior. However, we must bear in mind one thing: in our pursuit of happiness we must make rational, definite and objective decisions. For example, deciding to distance ourselves from certain people or leave a job to undertake new projects. All these decisions must be guided by a logical and rational thought that we cannot underestimate and which, in turn, requires the participation of another dimension: the bravery.
- Self-discipline. To live life to the fullest, contrary to what many believe, it takes a certain discipline. Because sometimes, for example, you need to forgo instant gratification to get more long-term benefits.
- Similarly, those who know how to be happy avoid procrastinating, invest time and energy in their own personal growth and he knows how to fight to the end for what he wants.
In conclusion, as you can see, it is possible to work towards a much more meaningful and positive existence. It takes a lot of willpower, discipline, and a bit of courage. Because sometimes, as you well know, it is necessary to make important and difficult decisions to achieve what we so desire.
Doing so, having the courage to try, can open the door for us to truly be ourselves for the first time in a long, long time.
