Last update: May 11, 2016
Sometimes we find it hard to write the ending of what, literally, "makes our life bitter". This behavior, these relationships or thought patterns often respond to a need: to escape a present malaise. We avoid confrontation with reality by taking refuge in pain, which is therapeutic in its being habit.
Unfortunately, punctually avoiding pain without looking further can lead us to an existential catastrophe. We prolong relationships with those who humiliate us cheaply or we depend on habits that in the long run distance us from our desires. Sometimes you need to change yourself, sometimes you just need to write the final point. On occasion, both.
Write the ending
It is necessary to become aware of the aspects of one's life that by now do not bring anything, if not bad moments. The following points will help you understand if your relationship has reached a point of no return:
- How often does your partner make you feel bad or make you feel good? Being inundated with an endless series of excuses and excuses from the other is not a good sign.
- What habits are helping to relegate you to an unsuitable routine for achieving your future goals or coping with your current malaise?
- What thought patterns lead you to be emotionally unstable? Constantly thinking about what has no solution, about personal problems at work, constantly thinking about what you should do, etc.
- Do you dedicate your time and suffering to things and people who do not deserve it, neglecting those who deserve the punishment many times, and almost always the joy?
Not putting a point comes with a high price: the destruction of our self-esteem. Sometimes it is inevitable that they harm us and disappoint us, it is a process over which we have no capacity to control; the difference is in the way we react to the source of disturbance. Continuing to give opportunities or justify negative behavior will only undermine our self-esteem. This means losing control, not just over the damage that others can do to us, but over the harm we do to ourselves over and over again.
It's hard to put a period, but it's worse not to
It can be a habit or a toxic relationship dragged on for years that you have allowed to consume, to erode your emotional well-being and your dreams. The inability to imagine a life that does not include this eternal malaise is what is perhaps preventing you from getting out of this dynamic.
The time has come to be genuinely selfish. Cut out what harms you and renew the landscape of your life ... refuse to further boycott your dignity. Not wanting to write the ending in the present will force you to do it in the future and it will be much more traumatic - the damage will be greater, as will the time lost.
If we don't write an end to what is consuming us, our days will never see inner peace. Put a stop to everything that should have ended immediately after it started. If you don't, the irreversible emotional degradation lies ahead that neither you nor anyone else deserves.
“Do you know something that lasts forever?
- I've changed a lot.
-So much?
-Completely.
My heart has never been so red.
It is good that there are many circles in life. However, my, my life, has had only one turning point, and not even complete. The most important part is missing.
Inside I wrote his name many times. And here, now, I can't close anything. I am alone.
I will stay here for as long as it takes. I am waiting for the coincidence of my life, the most important, even if I have had others. Yes. I could tell my life as a series of coincidences. The first and most important was the worst ... "
-The Polar Circle lovers-
You deserve a change as often as necessary
It is important to give your heart permission to start over without blame or fear. In life everything changes and transforms continuously. The difference between people who are constantly renewing themselves and those who remain forever trapped in their dramas lies in the ability to sense change.
There may be many stories from your past, but staying too long on one stage hinders the healthy decision to continue on different paths. Persevering for a long time in situations that cause discomfort is not only a symptom of masochism, it means giving power over you to people and things that do not deserve it.
